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Chelsea Sack Roberto Di Matteo, Now Looking For Ninth Manager In Nine Years

By Chris Wright

“Wooo!!! I never want this feeling to end!!!”

As special thanks for winning the one trophy he’d been chasing for years, Roman Abramovich woke up this morning and decided to sack Roberto Di Matteo after last night’s 0-3 Champions League defeat against Juventus having signed him up to a fresh two-year deal in June having won the FA Cup and the Biggie as an interim.

It’s pay-off time again at Chelsea! Bookies up and down the country just saved a shed load on paying out over Mark Hughes being the first Premier League manager to get the can.

A statement on the club’s official website reads:

“The team’s recent performances and results have not been good enough and the owner and the Board felt that a change was necessary now to keep the club moving in the right direction as we head into a vitally important part of the season.

“The owner and the Board would like to thank Roberto for all he has done for the club since taking over in March. Roberto helped guide us to an historic Champions League victory and a seventh FA Cup. We will never forget the huge contribution he has made to this club’s history and he will always be welcome at Stamford Bridge.”

So, Chelsea are now looking for their ninth manager in Abramovich’s nine years at Stamford Bridge. Rumour has it that the Russian overlord is now once again flirting with the idea of bringing in good ol’ Rafa Benitez, though Pep Guardiola’s name is also being tossed around this morning.

Pah. It’s not even funny any more. All we can confidently glean from his latest panicky axe-wielding is that Roman Abramovich is a bit of a silly sod.

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By Chris on November 21st, 2012 in Chelsea, FAIL, Managers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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10 Responses to “Chelsea Sack Roberto Di Matteo, Now Looking For Ninth Manager In Nine Years”

  1. squiggle says:

    Oh, for heaven’s sake. They just needed to buy a striker in January and they’d have been fine. Even without that – and with key players banned and injured – he’s kept them in touch with the Manchester clubs.

    I wonder what odds you could get on Roberto Di Matteo to QPR?

  2. plops says:

    I get the feeling Abramovich is like a kid when he’s watching football. Like he doesn’t really know anything about it, he just likes it when his team wins.

  3. Si says:

    @Plops – I bet he is a bastard to play FIFA against. Concede within the first ten minutes – reset!

  4. Mr Sensible says:

    And this is why everyone hates Chelsea with a passion.

  5. usrick says:

    Pep:

    Turn off your mobile and get out of the city. Go somewhere you cannot be found and eat turkey with the rest of the US this long Thanksgiving weekend. If anyone tells you a chap named Abramovich is trying to reach you, ignore him. Managing CFC can only bring all the stress of managing FCB with none of the love and admiration. Run I tell you!

    A Friend

  6. plops says:

    @Si More likely he’d get one of his cronies to take you out – and I don’t mean on a date. He’s one dodgy chap. Just have a read of the ‘Controversies’ section on his Wikipedia page. You can find more detailed info elsewhere.

  7. Giancarlo says:

    @Si: Exactly! That dude would rage quit like a 10 year old school boy.

    Wow this man is insane. He expects way too much. If anyone goes to Chelsea next it’s for a fat cheque. I’d never take that job over for anything else knowing the pressure. As much money as he has spent on Chelsea (a lot of stupid buys) he’s ruining the club as well.

  8. Al says:

    I just hope Eva Carneiro sticks around. She might be the only likeable thing at Chelsea.

  9. TravisKOP says:

    he should have never sacked ancelotti. best manager they had in a long while

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