Horror Hair: Jose Mourinho Borrowed Fernando Torres’ Clippers To Shave His Head Because It Was ‘Nice And Cheap’

Chris Wright

26th, November 2013


By Chris Wright


Forget Wes Brown’s horrific perfectly legal horror lunge, City’s thrashing of Tottenham or Artur Boruc’s twinkle toes; the big story in the Premier League this weekend was Jose Mourinho’s severe new militant buzz-cut, which had tongues-a-waggin’ up and down the country.

In equally massive news, Mourinho has today confirmed that he cut his hair himself using nothing but Fernando Torres’ Remington clippers and a photo of Sinead O’Connor as a guide.

Speaking at his pre-Basel press conference, Mourinho was asked why he chose to cut his hair (kudos to whichever journo was responsible for that pearler; asking all the big questions there!) to which the Chelsea boss replied it was “nice and cheap” before going on to brag about his spectacular hair-growing prowess.

“Some people can’t do what I did. In a couple of months I’ll have hair again. Some other people cannot do it,” said Mourinho.

“I decided to do it. I asked Fernando to give me his machine and I did it myself in front of the mirror. It’s nice and cheap.

“Mrs Mourinho? I sent her a picture before I arrived at home to see if I could go in the house… Yes, no problem.”

Yep, that was the news.