He may be hanging up his boots a bona fide legend, but there was more to Frank Lampard than his oodles of goals and groaning trophy haul.
Here we look at his greatest achievements outside of his actual footballing CV…
1. His personal blog…
At the behest of sponsors Orange, Lampard launched his very own personal blog in the year of our Lord, 2007.
The actual blog itself was horribly bland (see above) but it did provide a few choice nuggets of insight now and again:
John Terry will only wee in one urinal in the dressing-room toilets at Stamford Bridge.
If you’re at that one, he’ll queue behind you even though there are others free.
A fascinating glimpse into a complex mind.
2. His ‘Being Frank’ documentary…
Capitalising on the runaway success of his blog, Lampard launched a spin-off web series later that same year.
The resulting documentary showed a generally decent bloke who seemed to have trouble opening doors and getting the lid off tins…
Again, fascinating.
3. That time he indirectly killed a Ugandan footballer…
Frank Lampard non-celebrates scoring City’s first goal against Chelsea
‘Twas back in September of 2014 when Ugandan website Kawowo produced the headline: “DEATH BY LAMPARD”
The accompanying story was the sad report of a local man who passed away after watching Lampard score against Chelsea in a Man City shirt.
Blues fan Fahad Musana, who played for local side Simba FC, fainted after seeing the goal on television and died before the ambulance arrived.
What a way to go.
4. His eternal bond with John Terry…
Perhaps the greatest love affair of our, or anybody else’s generation.
No further evidence deemed necessary, your honour.
5. The time he was inadvertently nominated for a radio award…
Lamps unintentionally found himself nominated for a Sony Radio Award (the radio industry’s equivalent of the Oscars) in 2010 for an ‘interview’ he gave on LBC Radio.
After hearing LBC presenter James O’Brien refer to him as “scum” for splitting up with Elen Rives, the mother of his two children, Lampard rang in and proceeded to melt O’Brien’s face off with a cathartic blast of fury.
The following year, Lampard’s tirade was nominated for a Sony in the ‘Best Interview’ category – though, unfortunately, he eventually lost out to Women’s Hour.
6. His poorly-timed children’s books…
Lampard joined the children’s authorship racket in 2014, putting his name to a series called ‘Frankie’s Magic Football’.
Inspired by his late-career move to NYCFC, he released the ninth instalment – ‘Frankie’s New York Adventure’ – in early 2015.
Unfortunately, the book rubbed many MLS fans up the wrong way as the release came just weeks after Lampard announced that, rather than returning to the Big Apple as planned, he was instead extending his loan at Man City.
Timing is everything.
7. The time he was a jolly good egg…
When 17-year-old Oliver Shenton came on for Stoke against Man City for the final minute of January 2015’s meeting between the two sides, he was doing so just two days after his mother’s funeral.
Mark Hughes gave Shenton his Premier League debut to help end what has undoubtedly been a terrible period for the youngster on a more positive note.
However, Lampard (who lost his mother in 2008) also took it upon himself to make a gesture of condolence, swapping shirts and sharing a few words with the grieving teenager after the final whistle.
“I never knew that had happened until I was told afterwards,” said Hughes after the match.
“It was quality, from a quality guy and a quality player.”
Lovely stuff to end on.