Which Chelsea Player Cuts Up His Team-Mates’ Pants?
FOOTBALL players seem to love playing childish, sub-Jackass pranks on their team-mates – at least, the witless English ones do.
The News of the Screws reported yesterday that Chelsea have been struck by a phantom pants-slasher, who has been sneaking into the Blues’ dressing room and cutting up the players’ designer pants. Whatever next – a shit in a shoe?
Remarkably, this has been going on for a full year.
“It’s gone on for about a year,” said Frank Lampard. “We get in to find the bum cheeks cut out of our underpants.
“It has to be one of the players. They are the only ones with access. You might get two hits in a week, then he won’t attack for a month or so.
“I’ve a good idea who it is but wouldn’t dream of making accusations until I have proof. (But) I hope it’s soon – it’s costing a fortune in designer underwear!”
Okay, let’s hear your guesses. I’m going with Michael Essien, who just seems like the twinkly-eyed sort who would prank his team-mates. Or, it could be Lampsy himself, with a cunning smokescreen. This is a case for Columbo…
What’s your guess?
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John Terry! Haaah
petr cech– its always the quiet one
Colombo says: Just one more thing…it’s John Terry’s transvestite lookalike! Security never stood a chance! http://www.whoateallthepies.tv/chelsea/16453/shit-lookalikes-classic-john-terry-the-transsexual.html/comment-page-1
Ed de Goey?
i’d go essien too
you didn’t put the best quote from the article in.
“There’s hardly any holes in our defence – so it’s a shame the same can’t be said of our underpants.”
hahah.
what about malouda? i think he could’ve done it :P
Drogba
I thnk tis kalou,he’s ug most cunin’ of all..he he
Why suspect players, it might be carlo ancelotti…
i have no doubt its roman abramovich.
Mikel, he is childish enough to do it. I’m pretty sure there are two players involved. A prank is not fun done alone. Malouda looks pretty playful. I would go with Mikel and Malouda. A youngster wouldn’t dare and an older player wouldn’t do it either.
My guess is Bane Ivanovic, he looks like a quite a prankster! ;)
Ashley cole, hes an arse