By Chris Wright
“Christ! Is that you again Nando? I told you, not in public!”
Chelsea travel to Spain to take on Valencia in the Champions League tonight, a game that will see, among other things, Juan Mata return to Los Che in Chelsea blue for the first time after spending the last four seasons making his name at Los Che and a healthy dose of ‘God knows what?’ from a certain consistently wildly inconsistent freckle-speckled striker by the name of Fernando.
I’m not usually a man to dispense football betting tips readily but, given his recent track record, I reckon you can probably hang your hat on something cracking off.
Rather perversely, the untimely red card that Torres received against Swansea on Saturday previous is likely to earn him a start in the rickety old Mestalla, given that his brief 38-minute run-around at Stamford Bridge renders him one of the fresher players in Chelsea’s first-string.
That’s the way to do it kiddywinks!
Any road up, seeing as though he’s contributed two smart goals, one abysmal open-goal howler and a straight-red dismissal in his last two back-to-back games/128 minutes of football, we thought we’d have a go at trying to second-guess just what tonight’s game may hold in store for young Nando – in tried and tested list format…
1. Let’s start with the humdrum basics shall we? One goal, one instant red card for clotheslining Unai Emery to the