Praise Be! England Supporters Band Cleared To Play ‘Great Escape’ Ad Nauseam Against Sweden

Chris Wright

14th, June 2012


By Chris Wright

After having a bit of a benny about their instruments being confiscated on quality control security grounds at the Donbass Arena ahead of England Euro 2012 opener against France, the England Supporters Band have now received clearance to play in the crowd for England’s second group game against Sweden on Friday.

The band contacted the FA to complain about their treatment in Donetsk and, after a pow-wow with UEFA, it has been confirmed that we will all be treated to a never-ending ‘Great Escape’ brass riff until our brains dissolve into mushy paste and we all fall into a deep, vegetative state of catatonia.

Band member John Hemmingham said:

“It’s the best news possible. We were gutted to have driven 2,800 miles only to have our instruments confiscated.

“Our sponsors (Pukka Pies) gave us the good news this morning and we are delighted to have the chance to create the best possible atmosphere for England fans in Kiev.

“It’s going to be a very unusual situation with Swedish fans outnumbering England supporters by four to one. So we will be doing our best to help our fans generate more than the Swedes.”

Yeah! Great news! Now excuse us while we try to find a red-hot soldering iron to ram down our ears in time for tomorrow afternoon.

Posted in Euro 2012

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  1. Keith says:

    The guy on the right deserves to have his tuba shoved up his backside. It’s the only way he can come close to experiencing the annoyance he’s created for the last 15 years.

  2. Davy says:

    No….please fuckin No, I can hear it already!!! It was a relief not listening to its constant drone through the France game. its like the Vuvafuckinzalla or whatever you called the thing…STOP NOW

  3. C says:

    Pre-game yawn. It will end 0-0 anyway, regardless of retarded drumming on the stands.

  4. sebastian says:

    I’m glad they have clearance to play, they may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s all about the spirit of the supporters!

  5. gilbert says:

    that fucking song. bunch of cunts the lot of em. imagine sitting with them next to you for the whole 90 of not just any match but an already soul-evaporating england game. just give it a rest and watch your fucking team, christ. THE GREAT ESCAPE IS JUST A FILM THAT HASN’T AGED AT ALL WELL, ITS NOT OUR FUCKING ANTHEM. fuck my life it winds me up so much. YOU MIGHT AS WELL PLAY THE THEME FROM WALLACE AND GROMIT (!)
    if anyone out there finds their pseudo-patriotism appealing in the slightest i hope you lose your ears to diabetes.

  6. Chimpo says:

    can you imagine how pissed off you’d be if you’d paid hundreds of quid for tickets, accommodation, travel etc and then you wound up next to these cunts

  7. Wallace says:

    Great idea ! Imagine it…I actually think the Wallace and Gromit theme would sound good booming from the terrace band.

  8. SL says:

    I hate them, in fact they would be a reason never to see England….if the FA didnt give me so many reasons already.

  9. Jarren says:

    @gilbert: Wallace & Gromit? That’s a great idea!

    Nothing more English than one man & his dog, plus it’s cute so it’d lift everyone’s spirits.

    I remember in the 1994 World Cup the Holland fans playing a rousing version of that Dutch national anthem, No Limit by 2 Unlimited.

    Relaxes the atmosphere to play something quirky, instead of the usual old guff.

  10. DS says:

    FFS, these selfish freeloaders ruin it for the majority, why do we have to be subject to this annoying racket? If enough people complain at future home games we could get them banned from Wembley then they might get the message.

  11. plops says:

    Oh GOd look at the fucking state of them, it’s like a day trip for adults with special needs. Music therapy or something. That giant on the end, good grief “Yeah, I’ve got a trumpet lol”. Tuba, whatever it is.

    They should play 70s/80s TV theme tunes like Frank Spencer, Terry and June, Bread and Dads Army. Obviously first choice would be to paint them black and hand them over to the Russian/Polish fans.

  12. gilbert says:

    @plops ; just give their instruments to the russians, they know how to use them>>> beats the molten excrement out of ‘ God Save Our GraciouzzzzZZZZzzzzZZZzzz….’

  13. Professor Erno Breastpinchd says:

    Please stay in Russia, Sheffield begs you.

  14. Ameezy says:

    God, it’s bad enough having to listen to that dross every fucking home game at Hillsborough.

    Please don’t bother.


    The Fans Of Sheffield Wednesday.

  15. wondermega says:

    Can nothing be done to stop these boring bastards from playing? How many years has it been now – 16? 17? Give it a rest for god’s sake.

  16. Terry Shedingham says:

    Do mine eyes deceive me, or is the drummer on the left sporting a TicTacs scarf?

  17. Dan says:

    C**ts! Each and every one of them!

    When will they and the FA listen to the fans instead of their own egos and accept that nobody wants them there!

    Who appointed them anyway? I didn’t get a vote! But I still have to listen to the f**kers while I’m trying to watch the football!

    Check any online poll on whether these dicks should be allowed to continue playing and every single one results in a resounding NO!!!!

    But they are intent on clinging on to their self-appointed status by their fingernails, no doubt because they’re now getting a fair whack and free travel courtesy of their sponsors!

    But what these selfish arrogant toss-stains don’t understand is that they’re killing the true voice of England fans, that has sung loud and proud across the world for decades, long before they turned up!

    Selfish, egotistical, ignorant f**kers!

    Just shut up and let the country watch the football in peace and express their own support, without your mind-numbing parping drowning them out!!


  18. Graham says:

    Please please please can they be banned from the Stadia. The supporters are better off without them in the Stadia (they can play outside), the team also play better without them playing at all!!! They are so annoying.

    Also the Spanish or any Boo boys who Boo everytime some English team try to play football are so annoying.

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