Everton Fan Who Slapped Lyon Players While Holding His Young Son Presents Intriguing List Of Reasons As To Why It Wasn’t His Fault

Chris Wright

23rd, October 2017

6 Comments

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The utterly furious Everton fan who marched down to pitchside and began slapping at Lyon players while holding his three-year-old son during last week’s Europa League meeting between the two sides has presented a compelling list of reasons as to why he isn’t to blame for his behaviour.

Intriguingly, it would appear that a combustible mix of unprofessional provocation and improper safety precautions were responsible for the supporter to come galloping down from his seat to confront opposing players after a minor scuffle broke out next to the advertising hoardings in the Gwladys Street End at Goodison Park…

The fan, who does not wish to be named for obvious reasons, has already received a lifetime ban from Everton, with Merseyside Police also continuing to investigate the precise nature of the incident.

Regardless, the fan, who voluntarily handed himself into police after the match, gave an interview to the Sunday People over the weekend in which he admitted that while he is “ashamed” of his conduct, he isn’t solely to blame – far from it, in fact.

I was out of the police station inside half an hour with my solicitor. But I’m ashamed of what I’ve done. I already know. I’m not a f**king d**khead.

The 30-year-old adult male also added that he fears his ex-partner will attempt to prevent him from having access to his child and that it’s mostly Everton’s fault for letting him get so close to the pitch.

He also accused the Lyon players for endangering his young son with their reckless skirmishing.

They were swinging their arms. They’re supposed to be setting an example, as professional athletes.

I put myself and my son in a dangerous position by taking my eye off the ball and getting carried forward with other fans. Before I knew it I was through the gate, which should have been shut. Everton should have provided adequate security.

I knew I’d put myself in that dangerous position. It was not intentional but I’d been too concentrated on screaming abuse at the players for being s**t.

And before I knew it I was led down there – then it was like, ‘F**king hell, what’s going on?’ and it looks the way it looks.

He then derided everybody else – the press, fellow fans, social media commenters – for having the temerity to admonish his behaviour.

Eric Cantona ran off the pitch, gave a fan a kung-fu kick in the chest and I’m the worst thing in football. Are they deluded?

It doesn’t look the best on video but I know what happened and what I intended to do. That’s why I’m so aggrieved.

Amazing, isn’t it? You really couldn’t make it up.

Posted in Europa League, Everton, Hardmen, Newsnow

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6 Comments

  1. Olivier says:

    “They were swinging their arms. They’re supposed to be setting an example, as professional athletes” , aka how much irony can you fit in 2 sentence.

  2. Geraldo says:

    So basically it was all Eric Cantona’s fault.

    Only a Scouser could spout as much claptrap as this AND expect us all to buy it…

  3. Liquid says:

    “I’m not a f**king d**khead.”

  4. usrick says:

    Surely the Magistrate will be much impressed by both the explanation and the language.

  5. beano says:

    “Eric Cantona ran off the pitch, gave a fan a kung-fu kick in the chest and I’m the worst thing in football. Are they deluded”

    Always a good decision to refer to something that happened over 20 years ago to explain what you did a week ago

  6. Bill Gates says:

    He was clearly taunting the Lyon players. If he’d REALLY been furious, he clearly should have flung the toddler as an expression of his fury, full force in the face of the offending French footballer. For fuck’s sake.

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