With the club lolling in rude health up in 9th place, a full 12 points above the relegation zone, Everton manager Sam Allardyce has once again snorted at uneducated claims that his tenure at Goodison has been anything less than perfectly satisfactory.
On a hot streak of four wins in their last 15 outings, the Toffees are trampling into Saturday’s Merseyside derby brimming over with confidence in their ability to bring Liverpool’s rampant form to a juddering halt.
Still, one pencil-necked poindexter in the room at Big Sam’s Friday press conference had the temerity to ask whether a victory in the derby would go some way to winning over some of the Everton chieftain’s doubters.
The reply was as nakedly obstinate as it was crushingly predictable.
Where are the doubters? Have you been looking at Twitter and Facebook? Your lives are really run by Facebook, Twitter and Instagram far too much.
You are professional journalists. You shouldn’t listen to speculating unprofessionals, which is what you are doing to get your stories.
So be real and say that there are a few complaining and there a few that speculate my reign at the end of the season will not be here – on many fronts, on radio, on television, in the papers and social media.
You create the stir but really for me that’s only a small minority. That is what we live with. I understand it.
When Farhad (Moshiri, Everton owner) rings me up and says ‘Sam we don’t want you any more’ then I know I’m not wanted.
When anybody else says it I don’t listen to them.
Without wishing to sound professional (and to brazenly half-inch a quip from Daniel Storey), quite a lot of those doubters are actually sat in the Gwladys Street End and are notably audible during most recent Everton home matches.
Regardless, Corpulent Samuel pressed on, informing his non-existence, unprofessional dissenters that his first five months in charge have been an incontrovertible success for the following reason:
West Brom were above us when I got here. Look where we are now and where they are.
Congratulations. Everton can now go ahead and make shuffle a few First Division titles and FA Cups aside to make room for the ‘We finished above the absolute worst team in the division” trophy in their display case.
Oh, and as a small side – it’s not true either. When Allardyce officially took over on 30th November, Everton were in joint-13th place on 15 points while West Brom were four places and three points below them down in 17th.
Details, details.