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Who ate all the pies

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Big-Boned Brazilian Adriano Put Under ‘House Arrest’, Forced To Go On Diet By Corinthians

By Alan Duffy

Who Ate All The Pies indeed…

A fine striker in his time, and a winner of four Scudettos with Internazionale, Adriano Leite Ribeiro was always dazzled by the bright lights of the big city. Indeed, if it wasn’t for his¬†penchant for partying, he could have gone on to become one of his country finest exports of recent times. Instead, his star has been dimming for some time, in direct correlation to his growing girth.

Now back at Corinthians in his home country, Adriano’s weight has become such a ‘big’ issue for his club, they have decided to lock him in his hotel room and only give him food okayed by the club’s medical staff. Desperate times call for desperate measures and all that.

Fabio Mahseredjian, Corinthians fitness (not fatness) trainer, said:

“In the hotel we have more control over him. He knows we’re trying to do the best for him. All of us are dedicated, but it depends on him. Weight loss comes only through diet: you cannot lose weight through physical activity alone.”

Fellow fatty Ronaldo presents Adriano with a big box of chocolates on his arrival at Corinthians

I see a reality TV show in the offing – Celebrity Footballer Fat Camp, with Adriano, Ronaldo, Frank Lampard et al fighting it out to become the biggest loser. (Actually to be fair to Frankie Lamps, I’ve never quite got the ‘Fat Frank’ taunts. He has always seemed quite trim to me. )

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By Alan Duffy on February 9th, 2012 in FAIL, South America. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

12 Responses to “Big-Boned Brazilian Adriano Put Under ‘House Arrest’, Forced To Go On Diet By Corinthians”

  1. gocho says:

    more like who ate all the coxinhas…..

  2. Tom says:

    Brazilians like their food

  3. C says:

    And yet again! “English players never dive, English players aren’t fat”

    (Obvious sarcasm on my part here…)

  4. SL says:

    Fat Frank is called that because he said he was chubby at school. Adriano is in a terrible state, hes going to bloat up like Rudduck did when he retires as then the exercise will stop.

  5. C says:

    @SL Did you misspell Ruddock? He’ll break your legs for that…

  6. SL says:

    Only if he sits on them.

  7. Joe says:

    Yeah Lamps doesn’t look fat, but I saw an article in 442 saying he was one of the Prem’s fattest players. Hides it well, I must say. Doesn’t stop me from joining in the songs though.

  8. Joe says:


  9. America says:

    @C mate get a grip, look at those pictures. There are some bigger English players (despite the fact thats not the point of this article AT ALL) but no one his size. The man isn’t just big, he’s fat.

  10. Patrick says:

    Good idea putting him on house arrest–lock him in a house with a refrigerator and that’s accessible via pizza delivery. Now he’ll really focus on his training.

  11. Stevesy says:

    To be fair, apparently Ronaldo has a thyroid problem. Anyways, whatever, why do we even care about this?

  12. […] have any good restaurants? Or has the NBA had to have one of their best players put on a club-mandated diet and placed under 24 hour surveillance to make sure he isn’t sneaking off to a Burger […]

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