Premier League Chairman Dave Richards Goes On Flag-Waving Rant, Claims Johnny Foreigner Stole Football From England

Alan Duffy

14th, March 2012


By Alan Duffy

“I’ll have a no. 22 and a no. 45 please. And some prawn crackers. And a Coke.”

Apparently diplomacy isn’t one of Premier League head honcho Dave Richards’ best traits. The former Sheffield Wednesday chairman and FA board member has caused a bit of an international incident at a football security conference in Qatar after claiming that both FIFA and UEFA ‘stole’ the game of football from the English. He said:

“England gave the world football. It gave the best legacy anyone could give. We gave them the game. For 50 years, we owned the game. We were the governance of the game. We wrote the rules, designed the pitches and everything else.”

“Then, 50 years later, some guy came along and said you’re liars and they actually stole it. It was called FIFA. Fifty years later, another gang came along called UEFA and stole a bit more.”

Midway through his bizarre rant, Richards was politely reminded by FIFA Vice President Prince Ali Bin Hussein of Jordan that there was still a debate over whether the game originated in England or China. However, Richards was having none of it, no doubt as the sound of Rule Britannia played loudly inside his head. On he droned:

“It started in Sheffield 150 years ago. We started the game and wrote the rules and took it the world. The Chinese may say they own it but the British own it and we gave it to the rest of the world.”

So there. Stick that in your ethnic pipe and smoke it, Johnny Foreigner!

Actually, I expect Richards will soon be forced to make a mealy-mouthed apology before eventually declaring himself a UKIP candidate at the next election.

UPDATE: The latest word emanating from journos present at the conference in Dohar is that Richards fell in a swimming pool upon leaving the stage after his turgid rant.

All’s well that ends well, eh?

Posted in FAIL, International football

Share this article: Email


  1. Arsenesbrasso says:

    We also gave the footballing world hooliganism, the ‘long ball’ game & john Terry.

    Dave Richards is obviously a massive twat & presents as a fossilised 70’s era self satisfied, board worthy.

  2. ThatchedRoof says:

    Then he fell in the pool!

  3. Urban says:

    And news is he just fell into a swimming pool. Wehey!!

  4. Buttery Goit says:

    What a nutter, still I’d rather he was in charge than Sepp Blatter.

  5. Erbium says:

    Genuinely thought that this guy’s face was a photoshop-produced unification of Kenny Dalglish and Alex Ferguson.

  6. Mr. Sparkle says:

    I’m sure inside he hated being forced to give the “China-man” a handshake; where do these Neanderthals come out of? After all the racist bullshit that has hit the fan in Britain this year, I think no one can be surprised why the BNP is popular. Especially thanks to toss pots like this one, John Terry or Suarez and every Scouser who is willing to overlook that blight.

  7. Fletch says:

    If this is one of the senior figures in english football who deals with the top brass in FIFA/UEFA and other FAs its no wonder they dont have any time for English football.

    Sad/predictable thing is it probably sums up an institutionalised mentality within english football. Maybe if they got rid of the ridiculous sense of superiority and faced up to England being miles behind their rivals they would be prepared to learn lessons from other nations.

  8. Al says:

    @ Alan Duffy – the only racist thing about any of the above article is the caption you have underneath the picture, that is racist in the extreme and pandering to the chinese takeaway stereotype. Normally wouldn’t merit a mention as it is clearly meant as a joke however some of your other articles about racism (Reina add) seemed to be written as if you completely abhored this kind of comedy.

    @ Mr Sparkle – How does what Dave Richards said have any link whatsoever to Suarez, Terry or the BNP? Your comments are ludicrous. he was simply saying that football originated in Britain (which it probably did) and FIFA hijacked it, which they did. It is idiots like you who are seeing things that aren’t there that has the world the way it is today and are actually putting the fight against racism backwards.

  9. Mr. Sparkle says:


    Relax, It was tongue in cheek. Besides, who fucking cares who invented the game? Fifa and all of the other continental bodies are just in it for the money, they’re as corrupt as one can become. All sporting governing bodies are. It’s a fact of life, a rant about whether or not the sport originated in England is as useful as a sharp stick in the backside. It solves nothing.

    If these people want something different than perhaps it’s time to stop voting for Herr Fuhrer Blatter and Platini and the rest of these clowns.

  10. Gaz says:

    @Al – well done, one of the few people to understand what racism actually is

  11. Susan Sarandon says:

    I’m always so late commenting on things. As if you can trace when some humans kicked a “ball” around and through a “goal”. Neolithic man probably had similar games (maybe they kicked hedgehogs into other peoples caves).

    Developing the rules does not mean inventing the game of kicking things around. In fact, my dog likes playing with balls (not my balls). Maybe a dinosaur rolled a rock at another and…oh forget it.

  12. Alan Duffy says:

    @Al – I think you’ve missed the joke in the caption. It is parodying Richards’ Little Englander mentality by suggesting that he has a stereotyped view of Asian people. Surely you get this????

  13. Al says:

    @ Mr Sparkle – sorry, thought you weer being serious!!

    @ Alan Duffy – Of course I got the joke and why it is there, my point was in other articles you have been a bit holier than though on racism or ethbnic stereotyping so I thought it funny to see you use ethnic stereotyping to get a laugh in one of your pieces, double standard no?

  14. __wowza says:

    fell into the pool, im guessing he needed to.. COOL OFF!!

    amirite guys?

Leave a Reply