Police Called In After Warden Catches Port Vale Players On The Piss In Local Park

Chris Wright

11th, July 2012


By Chris Wright

Staffordshire police have launched an investigation into an incident last Wednesday that saw several Port Vale players besmirch and defile the flora at Hanley Central Forest Park while out on a pre-season yomp.

A park warden happened upon a group of the players urinating in the bushes and contacted his superiors at the local council, who in turn contacted the police, who in turn contacted Port Vale to inform them that they intended to look into the incredibly grievous matter.

Friends of Central Forest Park chairman Paul Breeze said: “We are talking about professional footballers. I am sure some of them will be reprimanded for this. They should show more respect.”


Councillor Andy Platt, city council cabinet member for city services, said:

“We are aware of an incident involving Port Vale Football Club’s use of Central Forest Park last Wednesday. This matter is being looked

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  1. Flyer says:

    Good job they werent doing it in the US, theyd have been put on the sex offenders register for that and no, Im not joking.

  2. plops says:

    I do enjoy a good piss in the open air. Off a bridge into a stream is a personal favourite. Seeing how high up a tree you can get is a good one. And it’s good for the compost heap.

  3. Anonymous says:

    So long as they arent exposing themselves, i.e. facing outwords for the whole world to see where they are peeing from……..then whats the problem with having a pee in some bushes? (so long as they arent the local primary school bushes lol!)

    If you’ve got to go then you’ve got to go!! :-)

  4. Guy says:

    @flyer, your right its no joke. Do it within 1000 feet of a school or public park you will get exposure to a minor regardless if one is around or not.

  5. Dave Macbeth says:

    I’ve been reading this blog for years and finally my team have made the front page. What a proud valiant I am.

  6. SwissMafia says:

    Thats a non-story if I’ve ever heard one..

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