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Irish Football Coach Given Community Service After Being Found In Possession Of A Stolen Marmoset

By Chris Wright

Hottest day of the year in parts of Britain

Marmoset there’d be days like this…

In today’s “tenuously football-related headlines that come along once in a lifetime” news, an Irish football coach has been handed 80 hours of community service after being found to have been complicit in a ploy to purchase a stolen monkey.

Paul Murtagh, 29 and a trainee football coach from Dublin, was stopped by police in October and found to be in possession of a stolen marmoset (apparently valued at approx. £1,250) which had been burgled from a house in County Kildaire earlier the same day.

According to the Irish Independent, Dublin District Court later heard that Murtagh had not stolen the monkey himself but had confessed to being “reckless”¬†about where it came from when he gave a group of other people a lift in his car.

Murtagh also pleaded guilty to unlawfully owning a stun gun which was also found in the car, for which he was given an extra 100 hours community service – though, let’s face it, if you’re pootling around with a monkey and a stun gun in your car boot then you’re pretty much asking for it.


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By Chris on November 13th, 2013 in FAIL, Newsnow. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

3 Responses to “Irish Football Coach Given Community Service After Being Found In Possession Of A Stolen Marmoset”

  1. AC says:

    a stun gun and a marmoset monkey? Is he trying to be the poor man’s Dirty Harry?

  2. Jarren says:

    Bloody Dublin!

    You wouldn’t find that kind of nonsense in Belfast…

    …we’d have a Furby and some well aimed spit.

  3. Cor Blimey Traaaaasers says:

    According to unofficial sources, the monkey wanted “space”

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