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Official: Luis Suarez Handed Nine-Match Ban And Banned From All Football For Four Months

By Chris Wright

Brazil Soccer WCup Italy Uruguay

It’s official. FIFA have slapped Luis Suarez with a big ol’ nine-game ban for biting a fellow human being.

He’ll also be banned from football for four months to boot…

That includes beaches and parks, we trust?

For the record, Suarez has also been fined to the tune of £65,000.

No more than he sodding well deserves – as if he gives a shit anyway.

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By Chris on June 26th, 2014 in FAIL, Injuries, Newsnow, World Cup. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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12 Responses to “Official: Luis Suarez Handed Nine-Match Ban And Banned From All Football For Four Months”

  1. syndex says:

    Unmitigated cowardice, 4 months with two months to the start of the season, they have basically banned him for less time than the chelsea bite.

  2. Mikkale says:

    the toothless punishment from FIFA should surprise no one.. sorry couldn’t resist

  3. Dave says:

    So now it is confirmed this animal has assaulted someone once again I assume the police will show an interest ?

  4. C says:

    I don’t care how good he is or how many goals he scores. I really hope Liverpool will sell him now. I’ve had it with all the scandals.

  5. B13 via Blendon says:

    I hate Suarez. However, imagine if football was devoid of material such as this, the beach ball, poisoning of Spurs, Balotelli in everything he does, Dave Beasant’s mayonnaise jar, ‘big (racist)’ Ron, Zizou’s headbutt, Rooney’s Grans, etc, etc.

    Ok, we’d all still enjoy discussing the beautiful game, but these kinds of things add an extra dimension IMO.

  6. Captain Fantastic says:

    As phenomenal as a player as he is, and as nice of a guy as he may be off the pitch (and he genuinely seems decent), a grown man, and one who’s actions are seen by millions of people around the world, cannot behave like this. A star player like this was an opportunity for FIFA to flex it’s muscles (like that was ever gonna happen) and set a precedent by showing that they’re not afraid to punish the big names (again as if). But Suarez is probably going to appeal and reduce the ban by even more, showing that the big stars are basically immune to severe punishment.

  7. Grant says:

    I wanted a year ban, but the good news is that the 9 games is 9 official Uruguay matches, which means even if they go to the final of this tournament and the final of Copa America 2015, Suarez will pay no part (a very big deal as Uruguay is the holders of Copa America). So he’s banned til October/November from kicking a ball in anger, and banned for two major tournaments for Uruguay. Not too bad, when you consider FIFA and UEFA usually fine people $7.50 for racism or murder in the stands.

  8. Potro says:

    YNWA LUIGI

  9. Hamiltonian says:

    I think you really need ask serious questions of the teams nutritionist. Clearly they have poor little Luis on the wrong diet for him to continually get hungry during matches.

  10. Messi-Suarez-Neymar says:

    Surely this incident will reduce his transfer fee to FC Barcelona. Anyone can see that after the media campaign against him, moving out of England is his best choice right now.
    Apart from Suarez himself, 2 clear losers in the incident, Liverpool and the Premier League for not having any of the top 5 players in the world.

  11. Al says:

    Total overreaction from everyone,
    Tasotti broke Enriques jaw and got 8 games but this is worse?
    Leonardo gets 4 games for breaking Ramos malar bone in 1994 but this is worse?
    Ben Thatcher got 4 game for almost killing Pedro Mendes but this is worse?
    It was a nibble but shows moral outrage sensationalism at its best/worst

    • Bayou says:

      While I agree that all of the above examples are far more egregious and dangerous, I think the outrage is based on the fact that biting is just plain fecking weird and hard to fathom. Hard tackles, throwing elbows, head butting this is understandable but three incidents of biting? It’s the bizarre factor that people are reacting to.

      I think Tasotti and Leonardo both deserved much more severe penalties than what they received. Rojas received a life time ban but that was for cutting his own damned forehead and pretending he’d been hit by a projectile–also a very bizarre action.

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