By Chris Wright
It’s official. FIFA have slapped Luis Suarez with a big ol’ nine-game ban for biting a fellow human being.
He’ll also be banned from football for four months to boot…
BREAKING: Fifa announces nine-game ban for #Suarez and ’4 months ban for any football-related activity’
— World Cup 2014 (@FIFAWorldCupTM) June 26, 2014
That includes beaches and parks, we trust?
For the record, Suarez has also been fined to the tune of £65,000.
No more than he sodding well deserves – as if he gives a shit anyway.