Paul The Psychic Octopus Is Dead
By Ollie Irish
Paul is an ex-octopus. RIP football’s greatest psychic mollusc, nay, football’s only psychic mollusc.
Yes, Il Pulpo Paul, who correctly ‘predicted’ (rolls eyes) a stack of World Cup results this summer, has passed away (according to a spokesperson at his aquarium) – insert your lame “He didn’t see that coming…” gags here.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad must be delighted with this news.
So that’s the hot football story of the day. Check. You can stick your Ballon d’Or shortlist up your arse, frankly.