Collymore’s Wikipedia entry lists him as a ‘retired footballer’. Shouldn’t that be ‘retarded footballer’?
Stan the Man penned a quite incredible treatise in the Mirror yesterday, expounding the Stan Collymore Formula For a Brighter, More Entertaining Premier League – cause, you know, as a league it’s really struggling right now (zoinks!).
Here are a few choice quotes from what ranks as one of the most ill-conceived pieces of sensationalist ‘journalism’ (zoinks!) I’ve ever read:
Stan says: “I would actually like to see the Premier League comprised solely of the 20-25 clubs who have been the biggest and most successful sides in modern history.”
Pies says: How very forward-thinking of you, Stan. Quick, shut the door before Stoke and Hull get in… shit, too late.
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Stan says: “And there would be no promotion or relegation which would allow those teams to grow.”
Pies says: To grow – yeah, at the expense of all other teams, who would be forced to look in, freezing faces pressed against the window of Stan’s cosy shop. This isn’t the NFL, with established franchises and a college system – football clubs need the carrot/stick of promotion/relegation to fuel ambition.
* * * * *
Stan says: “Fans around the world want to see the huge games – not clashes involving clubs like Barnsley, Watford or Hull.”
Pies says (in Chandler Bing voice): Could you be any more patronising? OK, you have a point about