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Top 10 Memorable Andy Townsend Co-Commentary Quotes

By Chris Wright

Soccer - International Friendly - Brazil v Republic of Ireland - Emirates Stadium

Ten of the finest quotes from Andy Townsend’s decade-and-a-half on the mic for ITV Football…

1. “I’m just wondering there, Clive: could he have hit that first time?”

2. “I’m just thinking…maybe he could’ve taken a touch there, Clive.”

townsend4

3. “Did he need to let that bounce? I’m thinking: Hit it!”

4. “Listen. I’m just thinking there, Clive, that he should really be looking to hit that one first time.”

townsend1

5. “I think he had more time than he realised there, Clive. Maybe he should be looking to have a touch first.”

6. “Listen. I just think he should be doing better with that, Clive.”

Soccer - UEFA Champions League - Final - Barcelona v Arsenal - Stade de France

7. “I think it’s just a bit big for him, Clive. Maybe he should’ve taken a touch?”

8. “Now, he’s let it bounce there…I’m thinking maybe he could’ve taken it first time?”

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9. “I’m just wondering there, Clive: could he have taken a touch, possibly?”

10. “Should be scoring from there for me, Clive.”

Seriously, the man’s like a pull-string toy when it comes to mumbling inane hypothetical bilge over slow motion replays.

ITV’s dreadful, mundane Tyldsley/Townsend axis needed breaking up years ago and quite how the latter is still their go-to guy for co-comms is quite beyond our comprehension.

</rant>

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By Chris on May 2nd, 2014 in Featured, Funnies, Media, Newsnow. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
comments

17 Responses to “Top 10 Memorable Andy Townsend Co-Commentary Quotes”

  1. link says:

    If you look what’s trending on Twitter while he’s on TV, he’s usually in the top 10. And 100% of those tweets are about him being useless. How no one at ITV has noticed this I do not know.

  2. Rory says:

    I’d say his mind was in a spin last summer for the England v Ireland game. He had no idea who to refer to as “we” or “the lads”. I can’t think of a former player held in less esteem by Irish fans.
    Not even his tactics truck could redeem him…

  3. Sjakie Meulemans says:

    Makes you wonder what exactly TV channel’s choice of co-commentators is based on. Apparently there are people who do rate the Townsends of this world. But who are these people, and what did their mothers do to them when they were babies?

  4. Gattsu says:

    Good stuff.
    I always thought this fantasy transcript perfectly encapsulates Townsend (aswell as ITV football coverage in general)

    http://www.thefalsenine.co.uk/2013/04/29/itv-preview-real-madrid-v-borussia-dortmund/

    Long read but worth it.

  5. LiquidL says:

    Hear hear.

    Can we get a co-commentator that has played in the Champions League? Or *gasp* won it?

  6. scotspur says:

    #TOWNSENDOUT

  7. Joe says:

    It’s not the man – seldom is – it’s the job. There is absolutely no need for a co-commentator, and it’s really only since Sky Sports introduced them that it has been considered necessary. Their main role seems to be to pointlessly commentate on replays, as if the viewer doesn’t own a pair of eyes, or to hold the absolute opposite opinion of the rational veiwer.
    Having said that Clive, I always used to enjoy Mark Lawrenson’s minimilist sarcastic input as a great tonic to the hyperbole going on around him.

  8. Al says:

    I think the co-commentator is selected purely on the sound of their voice, it doesn’t matter what they actually say but as long as their voice doesn’t offend the ears of the viewers then they are in. Think about it, most have a low pitch tone and don’t get over excited and start screaming out of the TV.
    There is no other explanation for any of the following list having jobs at it: Houghton and Whelan in Ireland. Nial Quinn, Townsend, Owen, Lawrenson, Alan Smith

  9. Chris says:

    I’m thinking he could’ve gone a long fucking time ago Clive

  10. Red Dan says:

    The great cricket commentator, Richie Benaud, said of commentating that rule number one is don’t tell the viewer what he can see perfectly well with his own two eyes.
    Townsend et al please take note.

  11. rob says:

    Joe,
    spot on mate, there’s no need for the co commentator, as you said they just tell us what’s happening on the replay and turn the regular commentary into more of a discussion between two blokes instead of thinking of the audience.

  12. rob says:

    “if anything Clive, I think he hit it too well”

  13. Grant says:

    That’s better. That’s much better. That’s better. BETTER!

  14. bruce grobs says:

    He has always over-used the phrase “in an around the box” but in the last couple of months he has started applying it to players: “Pogba really needs to get in and around Pirlo in the second half”. Pogba being ‘in’ Pirlo sounds a bit suspect. Is something on your mind Andy? Or are you just, as I suspect, a really shit commentator. He is another one whos say “United could really use the likes of a Rooney or a Mata to be gettin on the end of that” Why a Rooney? why not just Rooney?, it’s not like there are multiple Ronneys all lining up on the bench.

  15. “Pull-string toy”. Hahahahahaha. Absolutely crying.

  16. Kingsland101 says:

    @Joe – Glad someone else appreciates it. His World Cup co-commentary always cracks me up. I love the way you can hear him laughing at players in the background with his mic off.

  17. Barnetbeebuzz says:

    Don’t forget the old faithful “He’s got to spend more money in the transfer window Clive”…

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