By Ollie Irish

Natasha Dowie: Not Iain Dowie but close enough (From this point on, all Iain Dowie stories will be accompanied by a photo of his niece Natasha, who plays for Everton Ladies and who is much easier on the eye than her uncle)

From Hull’s official website:

“Iain Dowie took his first Hull City training session on Thursday morning.

“The Tigers’ Temporary Football Management Consultant put the players through their paces at their Cottingham training base and our photographer was there to catch the action.”

Temporary Football Management Consultant? Aaargh. A part of football’s soul just died screaming.

By Ollie Irish

What a cracking match, one for the ages. This result isn’t just the greatest in Fulham’s history, but also one of the greatest in English club football. Imagine Cagliari thumping Man Utd 4-1 and you’re close.

The massive goodwill towards Fulham after this result, which admirable manager Roy Hodgson has so much to answer for, has taken me by surprise. On Twitter last night, there were messages of support from diehard fans of Man Utd, Arsenal, Chelsea (maybe not Chelsea)… hell, everyone enjoyed this win. These days it’s almost impossible to dislike the Cottagers.

Juventus were a tad unlucky to have Fabio Cannavaro – a shadow of his World Cup-winning self – sent off, but no one can deny that Fulham deserved the win. They beat Juve by playing proper football, rather than using desperate long balls, long throw-ins or bully-boy tactics.

Clint Dempsey’s tie-winning goal, which we posted up last night, was the perfect way to end a pulsating match, during which Fulham developed an unstoppable momentum. Juve lost the plot near the end, but then I don’t think they ever imagined a world in which Bobby Zamora could destroy the man who lifted the World Cup for Italy less than four years ago. Funny old game indeed.

Fulham’s reward is a winnable tie against Wolfsburg of Germany. Having beaten the holders and now one of Italy’s great old clubs, they will start as slight favourites against the Germans. But Roy Hodgson will guard against such complacency. He knows Fulham will need to pull out the stops once more if they are to continue on this amazing European journey – Wolfsburg are a very resilient side.

A bumper gallery from the Cottage:

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Fulham's starting XI

By Ollie Irish

Is it possible to have a comfortable yet nervewracking win? Judging by event at Anfield on Thursday evening, yes. Liverpool’s failure to score in the first leg meant that just one Lille goal at Anfield would force the hosts to score at least three times. So even when the Reds were cruising at 2-0 up, there was a palpable tension on the Kop.

In hindsight, Liverpool won easily, but the away goal rule kept them honest. Two goals by Fernando Torres after a penalty by Steven Gerrard did the damage. Liverpool played some really good football in patches, pinging the ball around with the sort of authority they have struggled to find in the Premier League, but with Eden Hazard looking very sharp up front for the visitors (cue lots of terrible ‘Hazard warning’ puns), an away goal was a very real fear. But it didn’t come and Liverpool (who play Benfica) join Fulham (Wolfsburg) in the last eight.

The best pics from Anfield:

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Liverpool players line up before the game as fans wave a giant flag of former manager Bob Paisley in the stands

By Ollie Irish

Fulham’s Zoltan Gera – visibly pleased with the draw

The Europa League quarter-final draw in full:

Fulham vs Wolfsburg

Hamburg vs Standard Liege

Valencia vs Atletico Madrid

Benfica vs Liverpool

The winner of the all-Spanish QF will play the winner of Benfica vs Liverpool. So there could be a Fulham v Liverpool final (in addition to a possible Man Utd vs Arsenal CL final)!

After ties against the holders and then Juventus, Fulham should be relatively pleased with that. It’s a tougher draw for Liverpool though – Benfica pumped Everton and will cause Liverpool problems.

What do you make of the draw, Reds and Cottagers?

RELATED
Champions League quarter-final draw

By Chris Wright

Eyes, cold and malevolent – like a shark

Ipswich Town manager Roy Keane is rapidly losing patience with his side’s form and, after locking the team in their dressing room for over an hour following their defeat at Watford on Tuesday night, has moved to hammer home a ‘few home truths’ – read into that what you will!

Speaking to the club’s official website, the Manchester United legend appears less than impressed with the way some of his players approach away games;

“I appreciate the days are gone when you could go around assaulting people, but players drive you crazy and some things had to be said. A few home truths shouldn’t hurt them. I should have made three substitutions after just 10 minutes the other night.

It’s the away games that are the problem. Some of our players don’t like travelling, they miss the home comforts of their dressing room.

I gave players an opportunity to come back in and stake their claim but they threw it back in my face. Others have been making the same mistakes week in, week out, and they will take us nowhere fast.

You would have a better chance of winning the lottery than us winning away from home. It seems they can’t cope when they are outside their comfort zone.”

A word to the wise here chaps: Don’t cross Roy Keane – just ask Alf-Inge Haaland!

Quick prediction: Ipswich players react badly to Keane’s constant derision – form dips further – Keane sacked once again – Hired by mid-level Championship team wanting a ‘name’ manager – Players react badly to constant derision – form dips…

Rooney vs Messi – both amazing footballers and let’s leave it at that

Conspiracy theorists will relish the fact that Man Utd and Barcelona have been kept apart until a possible dream Champions League final in Madrid in May.

United face Bayern Munich in the quarter finals, a tie they should win, and then would face the winners of the all-French QF, Lyon vs Bordeaux. Again, it’s a tie that Fergie would expect to win four times out of five.

Barcelona, the best team left in the competition, have a tougher route – Arsenal then the winners of Inter vs CSKA Moscow – but I wouldn’t bet against them.

It must be Uefa’s wet dream to have a final starring Wayne Rooney and Lionel Messi. The two best players in the world right now (so they say), head to head. Kerching!

Of course I’m not saying the draw was fixed – I can’t afford the legal fees – but you have to say, if Uefa had fixed the draw, surely it would look a lot like this.

By Chris Wright

It really is a thinking man’s game these days

Liverpool have suspended Albert Riera until Monday and put the out-spoken midfielder up for sale following his stinging criticism of manager Rafa Benitez earlier in the week.

The news has sparked rumours that Riera could leave Anfield within weeks, and the Spaniard has already been linked with an immediate move to either CSKA or Spartak Moscow – as the Russian transfer window does not close until April 8th.

Should either of the Moscow clubs be able to match Liverpool’s £8 million valuation of the 27-year-old winger then it is thought a transfer could be hurried through as early as next week.

Riera has today moved to quell the row between him and his manager by insisting that he has ‘no interest in making [Benitez] his enemy’ but it may prove to be a case of ‘too little too late’ for the former Spanish international.

By Ollie Irish

The Champions League trophy also makes a lovely hat

The Chaaaaaaaampions League quarter-final draw in full:

Lyon vs Bordeaux

Arsenal vs Barcelona

Inter vs CSKA Moscow

Bayern Munich vs Man Utd

The winners of Lyon vs Bordeaux will play the winners of Bayern vs Man Utd in one semi final (and the winner of that semi will be designated the home team in the final). You can work out the other semi permutations!

First thoughts on the draw? Man Utd could hardly have asked for a better route to the final, whilst Arsenal face the toughest possible path to the final in Madrid, via the Nou Camp and then (possibly) the San Siro, or Messi and Mourinho. You have to like a Man Utd vs Barcelona final.

Let’s hear your thoughts…

By Chris Wright

May contain traces of peanuts. Here’s the round up…

Ya ya? Nein Nein!

Rumour No. 1: Barcelona’s Yaya Toure has put the kibosh on a potential summer move to the Premier League by insisting that ‘his only mission is to stay at Barca and be a success at the club’.

Toure has been continually linked with the likes of Chelsea, Arsenal and Manchester City over the past couple of seasons, but the Ivorian seems to have his heart set on remaining at the Camp Nou for the foreseeable future.

I do hope that’s Lucozade

Rumour No. 2: Bayern Munich midfielder Bastian ‘Pig Rider’ Schweinsteiger has also moved to distance himself from any speculation linking him with a summer switch to the Premier League with Chelsea.

The midfielder was quoted as telling German newspaper Bild;

“What is written in English papers is not always right. Today, many things are possible.  What is very interesting in England is the atmosphere in the stadiums but I have a lengthy contract with Bayern and therefore I assume that I will continue to play here.”

The Best of the Rest: Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich will focus on lowering the average age of his squad by specifically bringing in young talent during the off season.

Manchester City are sounding out 17-year-old midfielder Salim Harroun Nze’ who currently plays for Boulogne-Billancourt.

Everton face a battle with Spanish side Seville for FC Twente’s £8 million-rated striker Bryan Ruiz.

Sunderland manager Steve Bruce is keen to turn Alan Hutton’s loan move from Tottenham into a permanent one.

The Black Cats are also keeping close tabs on Bolton’s Matty Taylor.

Tottenham are reported to be tracking Palermo midfielder Antonio Nocerino.

Birmingham City have issued a ‘hands off’ warning to West Ham regarding defender Liam Ridgewell and midfielder Sebastian Larsson.

By Ollie Irish

Good news. England midfielder Owen Hargreaves finally made his comeback after 18 months out with tendinitis in both knees. He turned out for Man Utd’s Reserves against Burnley on Thursday evening, surviving 45 minutes without alarm – by some accounts he looked surprisingly sharp.

“It was great today. I’m happy I can be back with an 11 against 11 and a referee,” Hargreaves said after his comeback. “I feel good. It’s about managing the injury and trying not to do too much.”

With three months until the World Cup, it’s still possible that Hargeaves could make a late case for inclusion in England’s squad of 23 – though I suspect Fabio Capello might need a lot of persuading. But Owen’s versatility and intelligence would be a real plus for the Three Lions – he can play right-back, right wing and as a holding midfielder (his best position).

Check out our gallery of Owen’s comeback vs Burnley:

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By Ollie Irish

“Why won’t he pick up the phone? All men are bastards.”

Ryan ‘Tiny Tears’ Shawcross (lovely lad, wouldn’t hurt a fly) has revealed he has been unsuccessful in his efforts to speak with Aaron Ramsey following the clash which left the Arsenal midfielder with a double leg break.

Since the incident, the Stoke defender has since left phone and text messages for the young Arsenal star – which have not been returned.

Ramsey made no mention of Shawcross in a recent statement in which he thanked medical staff and fans for the support he has received since suffering the horror injury.

“I have made efforts, I’ve left him messages and a text, and nothing has been returned but that’s up to Aaron,” Shawcross is reported as saying in The Times.

“Will I see him? I might do in the future but it’s totally up to Aaron.

“I haven’t spoken to him. It’s up to him whether he gets back to me, there is a lot of emotion going on and he’s probably trying to concentrate on having his rehab done and that’s fair enough.”

Shawcross says the tackle will not have any long-lasting effect on the way he plays.

“I was quite surprised how quickly I was back to normal,” he added.

“I knew straight after I was going to be the same player and make tackles.

“It was an accident and these things happen in football – I’m not going to change the way I play.”

Fair play to Shawcross for making an effort to contact Ramsey more than once. I think he’s handled the whole affair quite well, even if I totally understand Ramsey’s unwillingness to speak to the man who broke his leg.

By Ollie Irish

“Look, no hands!”

Defiant Arry Redknapp says there is “no way” he will let Celtic keep Robbie Keane beyond the terms of his current loan deal.

Keano has been making hay since he moved north of the border (proving surely that the standard of defending in the SPL is some way short of that in the English Prem), scoring eight goals in eight games, but he’s due to return to White Hart Lane this summer.

“I don’t see us loaning Robbie out again,” the Spurs gaffer told the Scottish Sun.

“We paid a lot of money for him, so it’s not something I see happening. It would obviously be up to the chairman but I couldn’t see it being a possibility.

“I certainly would not want it to be happening.

“Robbie’s only on loan until the end of this season as far as we’re concerned.

“We want him back so in my mind there’s no way of another loan deal.”

I think Celtic get the message, Arry. You can put your sledgehammer away now.

Beautiful.

Bobby Zamora scores Fulham’s first goal against Juventus

Wow! What an incredible result. Few people, even Fulham fans, expected this. Clint Dempsey’s chip to win the tie must go down as one of the greatest goals in the club’s history. Stunning vision by Deuce. As for Uncle Woy Hodgson, he is a kindly miracle worker. I repeat: wow.

As for Juve, they lost the plot and two men (Cannavaro, a tad harshly, and Zebina, rightly). Maybe the Italians thought all they had to do to win was turn up. Well the Old Lady read the wrong script.

Check back tomorrow for more photos of a famous evening at the Cottage.

Top 10 links of the day!

Where are the 2010 World Cup stickers? Panini say they’re on the way… [WSC]

Chelsea want a piece of Fernando Torres [BigSoccer]

26 MLS players living on sweet FA [Spoiler]

Leaked pics of Liverpool’s new kits? [Anfield Red]

It’s a baller crutch-off! D-Becks versus Cashley [Kickette]

“But it is Messi, ball at his feet, running at defenders like a clockwork mouse darting between the legs of narcoleptic cats, who makes Barca what they are at the moment.” Class from the Beeb’s Robbo [BBC]

David Beckham, England’s 24th man [Guardian]

Another brilliant Q&A with Andrey Arshavin [Arshavin.eu]

The Football Stitchers of Sailkot [Must Read Soccer]

The best ginger XI of all time [Mirror]