Tittle-Tattle: Red Bull In ‘Advanced Talks’ To Add Swindon Town To Their Football Portfolio

Chris Wright

10th, November 2016

3 Comments

swindon-town-stadium-general-badge

Word on the wire is that Red Bull are in “advanced talks” to add Swindon Town to their portfolio of company-owned football clubs.

Swindon have scheduled a press conference to make a “significant” announcement this afternoon, with rumourmongers suggesting that the League One side are set to be bought out by the international caffeine peddlers.

Yep, Red Bull Swindon playing in the Carabao Cup. Urgh.

Red Bull already own New York Red Bulls, RB Salzburg and RB Leipzig, the latter having reached the Bundesliga after attaining four promotions in the seven years they’ve been bank-rolled by the energy drink company’s co-founder, Austrian billionaire Dietrich Mateschitz – much to the chagrin of just about everybody else.

As for Swindon, we’re predicting the first Red Bull-mandated change will be the replacement of the humble robin on Town’s badge with a pair of rampaging steers, and the choo-choo train with a silhouette of Felix Baumgartner’s space-jump capsule.

Calling it now.

UPDATE: Hmmm. Judging by the Twitter feed of BBC Points West reporter Alistair Durden, things are starting to look a little suspect…

If it transpires to be an elaborate hoax, then kudos where kudos is most definitely due.

UPDATE #2: Scratch that. The real breaking news is far, far less exciting…

Meh.

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3 Comments

  1. Murray says:

    Tim Sherwood has been appointed as Swindon’s Director of Football, if that’s news to you, but all this other “reporting” you’re doing is total rubbish.

    • JP says:

      Chill out geeze.

      Cut down on the caffeine maybe?

      • Murray says:

        I’m telling it like it is. If you’re unhappy with people being able to point out when a reported story is baseless and jumping to definitively wrong conclusions before any of the facts are in, then I recommend you go back to reading the “Mirror” in print form where you won’t have to be bothered by reading a comments section.

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