There were thoroughly depressing scenes at Craven Cottage on Tuesday night where Fulham handed a senior debut to a foetus with a top-knot in their 3-1 EFL Cup win over Millwall.
In replacing Floyd Ayite for the final eight or nine minutes, Harvey Elliott became the youngest player in English football history at the tender age of just 15 years and 174 days.
Assessing his performance, coach Slavisa Jokanovic said:
Harvey had some exams (earlier on Tuesday). He didn’t know (he would be playing) I didn’t want to put him in any trouble. I gave him the opportunity to test himself at this level.
He moved the ball with quality and showed some speed. It’s a great opportunity for him. We believe the future can be bright ahead of him. But he must be at school on Thursday morning.
The previous record was held by Leicester’s Ashley Chambers, who was 15 years and 203 days when he played against Blackpool back in 2005 – ancient and decrepit by Elliott’s frankly galling new standard.
The wispy Fulham midfielder was born in April 2003, making him several months younger than ‘Bend It Like Beckham’ and ‘In Da Club’ by 50 Cent.
Told you it was depressing.