Having been brought in to deliver Fulham from relegation, new manager Claudio Ranieri has taken steps to incentivise the club’s Premier League survival.
Just as he did with Leicester City anon, Ranieri has put in place a junk food reward scheme at Craven Cottage.
However, where once it was pizza on the line, the Italian has now promised to ply his players with burgers for every stout defensive performance they put in between now and the end of the season.
I have to promise something more. Pizza is not enough now. Better [to treat] everybody to McDonald’s! I hope to pay for a McDonald’s big burger very soon!
Chuck in an Oreo McFlurry and we’ve got a deal.
Fulham have conceded 31 goals in just 12 league outings so far this campaign, a porous record that Ranieri is keen to tackle first – a message he relayed in his own inimitable style:
They have conceded a lot of goals. I’m an Italian manager. For us Italians it’s important to maintain the clean sheet.
This team has enough quality to be safe., but I need fighting spirit too.
Play football, play well. But when you lose the ball I want to see you with an anchor, like pirates. I have fought for everything. I am a fighter. I want my players to be fighters – that is it. It is simple.
Got that? Fighting pirates who gorge on nothing but Big Macs for sustenance.
To be fair, that doesn’t sound far removed from several of the Sunday League teams that Pies have played in over the years.