We leave Volzy alone for a couple of weeks and he ends up poisoning himself. According to his latest diary (or should that be diarrhea) entry on the lengendary Volzy.com, a homemade pumpkin and prawn soup disagreed with the Fulham full-back on Tuesday night.

He said: "I’m never going through a night like I did last night so that’s it – I’m never eating prawns again. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy." Volzy has been named in Fulham’s squad to play Aston Villa today so he must be feeling a lot better now.

[Rob Parker]

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