Ban This Filth: Gary Lineker Made A Joke About Masturbation On Match Of The Day (Video)

Chris Wright

14th, January 2016



While discussing the finer points of Newcastle defender Chancel Mbemba’s handball against Manchester United on Match of the Day last night, Gary Lineker slipped a cheeky little masturbation joke into the post-game analysis.

After Alan Shearer remarked that Mbemba ‘tried to make himself bigger with his hands’, Lineker’s eyes lit up as he immediately sensed the opportunity for mischief.

Unfortunately, Shearer spoke over his first attempt at the punchline but ever the pro Linker managed to steer the conversation back around to crowbar in his zinger at the second attempt…


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  1. manker says:

    It’s not a wanking joke; it’s a nod to the widespread changing-room self massage technique of getting a bit of wind back in the old chap after a game partaken in particularly nippy climes.

    I notice Shearer got the self deprecating gag immediately – it may have worked less well if Dion Dublin had been other party.

  2. Moxey says:

    Jesus Shearer, shut the fuck up! I want to hear Lineker joke about wanking.

  3. James Taylor says:

    As a Leicester fan and big fan of Lineker (the player) I’ve got to say that was pathetic.

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