Team GB For London 2012 Olympics: Pick Your Starting XI

Chris Wright

22nd, March 2012


By Chris Wright

With the kit being unveiled earlier today, we thought it high time to for Team GB at the London 2012 Olympics.

The only rules you have to abide by are the criteria for the actual selection: All players must be aged 23 or under as of January 1st 2012 (with the exception of a maximum of three designated ‘over age’ choices) and, perhaps more importantly, actually be British – English, Scottish, Welsh or Northern Irish.

Members of England’s Euro 2012 squad are also going to be deemed ineligible, chiefly due to the fact that they’ll be completely knackered by August. Other than that, everyone else is fair game.

For example, fancy roping in Scholesy by twisting his pale nipples until he submits and signs up? Fine by us.

Here’s Pies’ stab at a gold-winning first XI, blending a dash of vibrant youth with a teaspoon of wily experience…

That’s three Welshmen, seven English (no Scotch) and one chap from Northern Ireland – Jonny Evans, who’s experiencing a rich vein of competency at the moment as he quickly becomes United’s new Wes Brown.

Evans plays alongside Richards in the middle as we’re assuming that the Man City defender will not be on the plane to Polkraine if Glen Johnson and Kyle Walker are fit, ready and able. The central pair are flanked by Kelly and Gibbs; solid choices if fit, with underrated stopper Hennessey keeping nets in behind.

Seeing as they’ve already thrown the shirt on him, Rodwell gets the nod in the middle, playing just behind Ramsey and Poppa Beckham who, let’s face it, is without doubt going to be captaining the Team GB squad come the end of July, such is his ‘draw’.

With maximum-attack flank support from The Ox and The Chimp, Studge gets a chance to tear about in his favoured central role up top as, a) we have a sneaking suspicion he won’t be going to the Euros in lieu of Danny Welbeck and, crucially, b) we really didn’t fancy any of the other candidates.

What do you reckon folks? Reckon you could pull a better starting XI out of your derrieres? Let’s see ’em then! (You’re line-ups that is, not your derrieres)…

Posted in Featured, International football, Opinion

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  1. Alex says:

    So you have to have Englishmen, Irishmen and Scotsmen? The team’s going to be an absolute joke.

  2. muppets says:

    why would richards not go to the euros if johnson and walker are fit? He’s better than both of them. surely?

    • Chris says:

      @Muppets: But behind them in the England pecking order thanks to Capello. I still see him as third choice RB.

  3. Mr. Chopper says:

    Surely the over age players are going to be three from Beckham, Giggs, Keane, Bellamy or Gerrard?

  4. fill says:

    what about kyle walker he is was better thn kelly or gibbs

  5. Archbishop Betty Snagcock says:

    it all depends on the euro 2012 squad really doesn’t it? cuz i reckon ox,sturridge and richards will make it.

    Hennesey (due to lack of other options)


    Beckham-McEachran-Joe Allen-Bale


    bench to have giggs/scholes (and you heard it here first, but on a sympathy vote after regaining fitness) fabrice muamba

  6. Fredmeister says:


    Richards is also properly suspect defensively, which is the main reason fabio didn’t want to know.

  7. Wolf Haley says:

    Would Jack Wilshere be fit enough to play in this? As I doubt he’ll make the Euros.

    • Chris says:

      Not sure Wolf. Last I heard, Jack’ll be back around mid-to-late April – though given Arsenal’s record with these things, you can probably expect him back around Christmas time. Either way, he won’t be fully fit for a few months and I doubt Wenger will want him to feature in either.

  8. Mr. Sparkle says:

    The olympics should be for amateurs only. This way the FA in the Home nations couldn’t make a stink about it. Besides Britain has a much of winning Olympic Gold as I do of playing in the Premiership.

  9. JFalcon says:

    GK: Ben Foster
    RB: Martin Kelly
    CB: Steven Taylor
    CB: Grant Hanley
    LB: Kieran Gibbs
    DM: Jack Rodwell
    CM: David Beckham
    CM: Joe Allen
    MR: Aaron Ramsey
    ML: Gareth Bale
    SC: Jordan Rhodes

  10. muppets says:


    i think ‘properly suspect’ is a bit far. He’s been doing alright at centre back. and is richards really a worse defender than johnson? not a chance in my book

  11. Marty says:

    Why can’t Joe hart be keeper?
    is there something im missing?

  12. Leels says:

    He’ll be at Euros

  13. Buttery Goit says:

    Yes Marty, you missed this paragraph.

    “Members of England’s Euro 2012 squad are also going to be deemed ineligible, chiefly due to the fact that they’ll be completely knackered by August. Other than that, everyone else is fair game.”

  14. Paul says:

    Scotch is a whisky FFS.

  15. romfordray says:


    Richards — Kelley — Jones — Gibbs

    Bale — Spearing — Bannan — Milner — Ox


  16. sloth says:

    @Marty, Hart will be first choice keeper at Polkraine, so he’ll be “completely knackered by August,” as Chris points out.

    This is really hard because it’s fully dependent on the euro squad. If any of Richards, Phil Jones, Smalling, Walcott, Welbeck, Sturridge, or the Ox get left behind they should be in the Olympic squad.

  17. Nigeldejongisaflippingpansy says:


    Heskey Heskey Heskey Heskey

    Heskey Heskey Heskey Bale

    Alan Lee

  18. Sam says:


    M.Kelly J.Evans A.Williams K.Gibbs

    D.Beckham J.Allen

    N.Dyer A.Ramsey G.Bale


  19. Mr. Sparkle says:


    Quite rightly so. Wouldn’t want to watch those interviews, it would be like listening to a bunch of alley cats screeching.

  20. Germanium says:

    I’d bascially take the u21s England team. Swap out Henderson for Bale and BOOM you’ve got a winning team. Maybe Beckham for Shelvey if he REALLY insisted on playing, though I wouldn’t be happy about it.

  21. Humding says:

    @ Alex Heh heh!!

  22. Colin Hall says:

    I don’t know who’s going to pick this team, but I can see politics playing more of a part than is comfortable. I can see it now, the stands packed with England & Scotland fans singing together, slapping each other on the backs (in a friendly way) … god help us if we win, we may actually achieve a United Kingdom at last ;-)

    Come on you Red, White & Blue !

  23. Wolf Haley says:

    The Brazilian, German, Spanish or other great footballing nations will win this.

  24. Papi says:

    New Wes Brown? That’s hardly competency! Sarcasm at its finest.

  25. Patrick says:

    Hennessey looks surprisingly like Kevin Bridges…

  26. mike says:

    james forrest for right mid, he’s miles better than anyone else in contention. Adam matthews for right back, he’s already a full Welsh international and is quite a bit better than Kelly (at right back, Kelly has a bright future in the center imo.)

  27. michael says:

    Agreed with most besides beckham and hennesey, if they want to give it a serious go, just play people of age who are better than them anyway, jack welsher for example will probably not play for england due to his injury concerns therefore pick him for the british squad.

  28. mufc says:




  29. adhikapp says:

    only 20 squad players for the olympics right?

    Richards-Evans-Danny Wilson-Gibbs

    Other squad members: Amos, Caulker, Kelly, Bannan, Danny Rose, Rhodes, Carroll, Albrighton, Muamba (if he heals) & Wilshere/Cleverley (depends which goes to euros). I have a slight feeling both Sturridge and Welbeck will go with the seniors, just a pity that Richards might not.

  30. Col says:

    I think this anti-Scottish bias is a bit harsh. At least one of a list of decent scottish premiership midfielders (James McArther, Graham Dorrans, James Morrison) deserves to go to the Olympics.

    And Richards WILL be at the Euros.

  31. Snedders1234 says:

    GK Jack Butland
    RB Martin Kelly
    CB Danny Wilson
    CB Chris Smalling
    LB Kieran Gibbs
    LM Gareth Bale
    CM Aaron Ramsey
    CM Barry Bannan
    RM David Beckham (Captain and over 23)
    ST Craig Bellamy (Over 23)
    ST Jordan Rhodes

  32. JT says:

    GK: Wayne Hennessey

    LB: Neil Taylor
    CB: Shane Duffy
    CB: Johnny Evans
    RB: Martin Kelly

    LW: Gareth Bale
    CM: Joe Allen
    CM: Aaron Ramsey
    RW: David Beckham (C)

    FW: Daniel Sturridge
    FW: Jordan Rhodes

    Alex Oxlade Chamberlain
    Jack Rodwell
    Jake Livermore
    Steven Caulker
    Henri Lansbury
    Ben Amos (gk)
    Jay Rodriguez

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