England Rated Worse Than Shakhtar Donetsk By Stats Boffins

Alan Duffy

24th, May 2012


By Alan Duffy

They say you can prove anything with statistics and the latest statistical boffinry to throw us a cureveball comes courtesy of statty men and women Infostrada, who have thrown lots of games and facts and figures into a big magical computing machine, with some interesting results coming out the other end.

After comparing both clubs and national teams, Infostrada produced a ranking of the best teams in Europe, with our dearly beloved Three Lions only coming in in 18th place, one spot behind Ukrainian side Shakhtar Donetsk, The top 20 is as follows:

1. Real Madrid                                                        11. Borussia Dortmund

2. Barcelona                                                           12. Arsenal

3. Manchester United                                             13. AC Milan

4. Spain                                                                  14. Atletico Madrid

5. Manchester City                                                 15. Benfica

6. Bayern Munich                                                   16. Italy

7. Chelsea                                                              17. Shakhtar Donetsk

8. Netherlands                                                        18. England

9. FC Porto                                                             19. Valencia

10. Germany                                                           20. Ajax.

You can see more results here.

So what does all this statistical tomfoolery tell us? Well, in my opinion, absolutely nothing. Although from England’s point of view, coming behind only Spain, Netherlands, Germany and Italy amongst national teams is a pretty decent result, no?

Posted in Euro 2012, International football

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  1. Venny says:

    Those damn scientists should stick to studying their hypotenuses or whatever.

  2. msteezy says:

    what the hell is this? whoever came up with this is pretty dumb, or either i dont really understand what it is saying. Does this mean porto should beat germany?

  3. B says:

    5th nation in that list though, not that bad.
    Beat the French nd thats what matters.

  4. leo says:

    that’s actually a pretty accurate list except Germany should be #7 and England doesn’t even deserve to be there

  5. Anonymous says:

    How are Arsenal ahead of Milan?

  6. Irshaad says:

    Alan was this list only made up of Both International and Club Teams from Europe alone? Because there are no Teams Represented from outside of Europe

  7. Irshaad says:

    Im quite positive that this list was only made up of European International and Club Teams…. It would be Surely Interesting if it Included Teams from Around the World but still a Fantastic Post and Information to Ponder about… Keep Up the Superb Work Alan and the Rest of the Who Ate All The Pies Team… Truely Great Work!!!!

  8. Morpheus says:

    England is even shitter than Shakhtar Donetsk!
    or England is the 4th best European national team.
    Glass half-empty or half-full?

  9. Toz says:

    Club teams from outside of Europe just don’t hold water when compared to aforementioned continent. Sure, Fluminense, Boca or Chivas are probably better than some of the lower half sides in the premier league but that’s subjective. The best teams in North and South America and the rest of the world too boot, play in leagues which are generally weak.

    I mean, I sometimes will watch a half of Brazilian or Argentine or even Mexican football. I’d say that most of the time, the defending is atrocious and the offense is filled with showboating asshatery a là Neymar.

  10. Graham says:

    Fuck yeah! Third in Europe even though we could barely stay in it this year!

  11. Jarren says:

    As a Man Utd fan I should be happy, but quite frankly that table is a joke.

    Stats are one thing, actual games are another.

    This is not chess.

  12. Al says:

    so scientists came up with this nonsense, I bet people with cancer are delighted by how our leading intelects are spending their time much better to do this than say work on a cure…..

  13. Anonymous says:

    where is Juventus?

  14. Toz says:


    Statisticians are not intellectuals. Statistics in fact is the devil, and besides, someone who creates statistic formulas to generate such data isn’t capable of curing cancer or any other fatal diseases.

  15. Andy Carroll's Ponytail says:

    5th best nation in Europe equates to Quarter-finals exit again at the Euros then. Sounds about right.

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