By Chris Wright
As of a few minutes ago, the FA have announced the cancellation of England’s friendly against Holland at Wembley tomorrow evening, due to the ongoing chav uprising that is sweeping through London – the right call, we’re sure you’ll agree.
It remains to be seen whether or not the opening weekend of Premier League fixtures will be affected or not – though, thankfully, international peace broker Wayne Rooney has stepped in to help politely quell the disturbances by then…
Did you hear that you feral, looting scum? Stop, please!