No self-respecting football club should be operating without an Official Funeral Partner among their sponsorship portfolio, and so it’s with great relief we can confirm that Brentford have finally rectified that glowering oversight.
The Bees have partnered with a local undertaker to afford their loyal fans the opportunity to be sent off into the great yonder while encased in a Brentford-themed coffin, urn or casket.
The honours were left to midfielder Romain Sawyers, who traipsed down to the front desk at Griffin Park to welcome G Saville & Son (who, rather confusingly, also appear to be husband and wife) on board.
The club then sealed the deal by announcing it on Twitter with a pithy, if slightly morbid pun…
⚰ Brentford ‘Til I Die
Welcome to G Saville & Son Funeral Directors who have signed up to become our Official Funeral Partners
— Brentford FC (@BrentfordFC) 23 August 2018
According to the blurb on the official Brentford website, the partnership with G Saville & Son (a local firm based in Wembley) will mean the club can offer fans “bespoke coffins in team colours, complete with the Brentford FC badge”.
You may be thinking this is football’s most macabre foray into marketing, but need we remind you that Schalke actually offer burial plots in the graveyard next-door to their stadium.
Something something the ball going out for a coroner something something.