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Valentine’s Day Special: Top 10 Epic Football Bromances

By Chris Wright

It’s Valentine’s Day, love is in the air, the goose is getting fat, yadda yadda yadda. We thought we’d have a look at some of the greatest, most enduring romances that football has facilitated over the year – because love, in all its forms, is a beautiful thing…

1. Frank Lampard and John Terry

“Oh John, stop it! Of course I didn’t get that tattoo of us across my stomach…”

2. Gary Neville and Paul Scholes

Since his first, unrequited object of desire, David Beckham, moved across the ocean and married his fancy woman in a land far, far away, the Neviller has been forced to patch up his broken heart and move on with the second handsomest fella in the United ranks…

3. Jose Mourinho and Cristiano Ronaldo

Oh, excuse me. I’ll give you two a minute…

4. Cristiano Ronaldo and Cristiano Ronaldo

One all-encompassing love affair that is absolutely certain not to fizzle out at any point between now and the point that the sun implodes…

*Full-length mirror just out of shot, stage left*

5. Gareth Southgate and unidentified naked chap

Second base on their first date, it must’ve been love…

6. Andy Carroll and Martin Skrtel

Something absolutely nobody wanted or needed to see; the moment that Andy and Martin made their budding relationship public…

Can you pass the eyeball bleach please?

7. Diego Maradona and Colin Farrell

Yep, this happened. One imagines that certain stimulants may have been involved. Both Rohypnol-ed the other and went in for the non-consenting kill…

8. Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher

Never get between Carra and his man – look what happened to Xabi…

He hasn’t been seen since, but several ginger beard hairs were later discovered in the blades of Carragher’s lawnmower.

9. Gerard Pique and Carles Puyol/Zlatan Ibrahimovic

Pique: Putting the ‘camp’ in the Camp Nou since 2008…

“Oh Carles…if you go, where shall I go? What’ll I do?”

Given the sheer number of Pique’s Fleetwood Mac-esque inter-squad bromances over the years, things are either very open or very awkward at Barcelona…

Parting is always such sweet sorrow.

10. Jose Mourinho and Marco Materazzi

When Mou left for Spain, the Matrix just couldn’t go on…

“We need you. Hell, I need you. I’m a mess without you. I miss you so damn much! I miss being with you. I miss being near you. I miss your laugh! I miss your scent. I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together.”

Any undying footballing love affairs we’ve missed (there are several)? You know the drill…

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By Chris on February 14th, 2012 in Featured, Funnies, Top 10s & lists. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

23 Responses to “Valentine’s Day Special: Top 10 Epic Football Bromances”

  1. ThickAcc says:

    Bwahahaha..this is hilarious and brilliant.

  2. Charles says:

    Leighton Baines and Steven Pienaar, gloriously reunited after their heartbreaking year apart.

    There IS a picture of the two of them holding hands in some romantic embrace after the game at White Hart Lane this year, if y’all can find it.

  3. the brain says:

    fernando torres and sergio ramos

  4. douchebag says:

    suarez and evra – ha ha !

  5. trufax says:

    David Silva and Adam Johnson tbh. Someone has a cruuuuush.

  6. Michael_D says:

    #10 FTW…the quote from Anchorman sealed the deal

  7. Alex says:

    I’m not sure if anyone else noticed, but those ‘Real mens TV’ Tetleys adverts which played in between the AFCON highlights on ITV. The latent romantic tension between the two leads was nothing short of exhilerating.

  8. WildScotsman6 says:

    that middle eastern fella who thought it appropriate have a bum tickle with his teammate that scored… only to result in a ban (ban for life was it?)

  9. garza says:

    No Ser-Nando, Beck-Sillas or Schwein-Ski? Oh sorry, I see, you had to make space for Crispy and himself.

  10. AG says:

    Definitely Fernando Torres and Sergio Ramos. Not even playing for rival teams could keep them apart.

    There’s much more evidence where that came from.

  11. wolfinho says:

    speaking of zlatan/barcelona’s “very open” policies, there was that reunion of bojan and zlatan before the roma/milan game where i’m pretty sure one touched the other’s junk or something of that sort.

  12. Smith says:

    Mikel Arteta & Tim Cahill

    or even Arteta and Robin Van Persie

  13. Dirtbunny says:

    Gigi Buffon and Fabio Cannavaro

  14. Krsta says:

    Henry – Bojan
    Henry – Eto’o

    A lot of hugs & all that …

  15. Holland 1945 says:

    Arteta and Cahill is a great shout. Cahill was Arteta’s best man at his wedding for Zlatan’s sake.

  16. Jane says:

    girls must be throwing themselves at messi valentines day

  17. werderbremen_rulez says:

    Frings & Ballack

    Wiese & Frings (when Ballack was unavailable)

    Trinks & Thy ( youngsters from Werder Bremen)

    not to forget Holtby & Schürrle (and a few more of Mainz back in season 10/11, Holtby is quit a slut – hope he continues his slutty ways as Schalke with Papa and Pukkkiiiiiii ;))

    Hummels & Höwedes

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