Top 10 Footballing Authors

Chris Wright

15th, January 2013


By Chris Wright

With the news that Samuel Eto’o is currently in the process of launching a comic book about his humble beginnings on the streets of Douala and his meteoric rise right through to his current status of ‘vastly wealthy malingerer’, we thought we’d have a little look at football’s other gifted-ish scribes (and we’re not talking crappy ghost-written autobiographies here).

Let’s start where we mean to begin…

10. Theo Walcott: Theo has co-written a series of children’s books about a young player names T.J who under-performs for years then has the temerity to bitch and whine about playing through the middle so many times that his PE teacher eventually caves in, lets him play wherever he bloody well wants and agrees to shovel £85,000-a-week into T.J’s bank account for the privilege. Something like that anyway.

9. David Icke: The former Coventry goalkeeper spent the 1980s putting together a thesis about giant lizards living in caverns at the centre of the earth. Sadly, it was intended to be non-fiction. So far Icke has penned 16 books , mostly about the Illuminati, 9/11 and ‘mass mind manipulation’.

8. Zlatan Ibrahimovic: Okay, so ‘Jag Är Zlatan is pretty much an autobiography, but the standard of prose is far beyond the usual dross: “Guardiola was staring at me and I lost it. I thought ‘there is my enemy, scratching his bald head!’. I yelled to him: ‘You have no balls!’ and probably worse things than that, “You are shitting yourself because of Mourinho. You can go to hell!’”

7. Terry Venables:  As well as being a peerless soul crooner, El Tel once co-wrote a book called ‘They Used To Play On Grass’ in 1970 while still a QPR player, the blurb of which reads: “In this story, manager John Gallagher is rocked by a fresh threat to his dream, three days before one of the biggest matches in soccer

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