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Big, Bad List Of Footballers With Outrageous Middle Names

By Chris Wright

Almost every football fan is familiar with the likes of Bobby ‘Chelsea’ Moore, Emile ‘Ivanhoe’ Heskey and Gary ‘Winston’ Lineker, but we though we may be able to tempt you with a fairly comprehensive list of other footballer’s with outrageous and/or strange and/or ridiculous middle names.

Are you sitting comfortably? Then let’s begin…

Germany Soccer Champions League

Jurgen Norbert Klopp, Borussia Dortmund

France Disneyland 20th Anniversary

David Désiré Marc Ginola, ex-Newcastle


Gylffi Thor Sigurdsson, Tottenham

Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Aston Villa v Liverpool - Villa Park

Jores Charlemagne Okore, Aston Villa

Soccer - UEFA Champions League - Group E - Chelsea v FC Basel - Stamford Bridge

Marco Wulfort Cornelius van Ginkel, Chelsea

Soccer - npower Football League Championship - Derby County v Crystal Palace - Pride Park

Kagisho Evidence Dikgacoi, Crystal Palace

Soccer - npower Football League Championship - Birmingham City v Doncaster Rovers - St Andrews'

Stephen Babeson Carr, ex-Birmingham

Britain Soccer Premier League

Daniel Nii Tackie Mensah Welbeck, Man Utd

Soccer - Football League Division One - Arsenal

Bob Primrose Wilson, ex-Arsenal

Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Crystal Palace v Norwich City - Selhurst Park

Cameron Zishan Rana Jerome, Crystal Palace

Soccer - Capital One Cup - Second Round - Burnley v Preston North End - Turf Moor

Kevin Cyril Davies, Preston North End

Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Arsenal v Chelsea - Emirates Stadium

Kieran Ricardo Gibbs, Arsenal

Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Swansea City v Everton - Liberty Stadium

Phil Nikodem Jagielka, Everton

Soccer - Marseille

Chris Roland Waddle, ex-Sheff Wed

Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Hull City v Liverpool - KC Stadium

Glen McLeod Cooper Johnson, Liverpool (is it just us, or does ‘McLeod Cooper’ sound like an awesome name for a 70’s Blaxploitation detective?)


Charles Joseph Hart, Man City

Soccer - Euro 2000 - Group D - France v Denmark

Peter Boleslaw (which, contrary to popular belief, is not the Danish word for ‘potato’) Schmeichel, ex-Man Utd

Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Stoke City v Norwich City - Britannia Stadium

Johan Kelvin Elmander, Norwich City

Soccer - Alex Ferguson File Photo

Rutgerus ‘Ruud’ Johannes Martinius van Nistelrooy, ex-Man Utd

Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Everton v Southampton - Goodison Park

Jack Frank Porteous Cork, Southampton

Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Hull City v Stoke City - KC Stadium

Roy Maurice Keane, ex-Man Utd

Soccer - Pre-Season Friendly - Reading v Swansea City - Madejski Stadium

Nathan Antone Jonah Dyer, Swansea

Soccer - FIFA World Cup Qualifying - Group A - Wales v Macedonia - Cardiff City Stadium

Ashley Darel Jazz Richards, Swansea

Soccer - FIFA World Cup Qualifying - Group F - Azerbaijan v Northern Ireland - Northern Ireland Press Conference - Hilton Hotel

Gareth Gerald McAuley, West Brom

Soccer - FA Carling Premiership - Liverpool Photocall

Mark Everton Walters, ex-Liverpool

Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Tottenham Hotspur v West Ham United - White Hart Lane

Jussi Albert Jaaskelainen, West Ham

Soccer - Barclays Premier League - West Ham United v West Bromwich Albion - Upton Park

Kevin Jance Nolan, West Ham

Spain Soccer Champions League

Gerard Pique Bernabeu, Barcelona (we can’t imagine why he keeps that one quiet)

Late additions: Vurnon San Benito Anita, Newcastle (@adamjgosling), Louis Aloysius Paulus Maria van Gaal, Holland (Lukass), Julian Maria Speroni, Crystal Palace (RN).

Any more middle-name corkers you know of that we’ve missed? Feel free to let us know…

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By Chris on January 7th, 2014 in Featured, Funnies, Newsnow, Top 10s & lists. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

27 Responses to “Big, Bad List Of Footballers With Outrageous Middle Names”

  1. AK says:

    Matt ‘Lockin’ Derbyshire

  2. Anonymous says:

    Emile IVANHOE Heskey should surely be on any list of middle names!

  3. Lukass says:

    Aloysius Paulus Maria ‘Louis’ van Gaal anyone?

  4. Storvopper says:

    There’s one obvious Highlight missing:

    Bondscoach Aloysius Paulus Maria „Louis“ van Gaal aka The “Feierbiest”

  5. Holland 1945 says:

    Jagielka is of Polish descent; having a Polish middle name is hardly outrageous.

  6. RN says:

    Julián MARIA Speroni

  7. carl says:

    Dean Microwave Saunders should be on there

  8. Al says:

    you missed Ryan “ballsdeepinsisterinlaw” Giggs

  9. D.O. says:

    Christian Dannemann Eriksen

  10. Wilma says:

    Bernabeau is just Pique’s second surname so doesn’t apply. Everyone uses two surnames in Spain and other countries.

    Also Speroni’s first name is Julian María so it’s not a middle name. It’s perfectly normal to hear a name like Jualian María or José María.

    Again, in Spanish plenty of people have two first names and no middle name; they’re pretty uncommon, actually. A lot of the time it gets shortened down to a nickname, like Juanfran of Atlético (Juan Franciso) Josemi formally of Liverpool (José Miguel).

  11. arexei says:

    I was looking on TransferMrkt the other day, and apparently there is a Cameroonian player named Eric Cantona Yankam… not that he has any significance in global football, but still.

  12. thekaratesuit says:

    owen COLUMBA coyle…

  13. TravisKOP says:

    hearing roy keanes middle name take alot of the intimidation out of his name.

  14. Wesley says:

    Probably half Dutch players would make this list.

  15. Udy says:

    Michael ‘Barrington’ Ricketts

  16. Up44 says:

    Augustine Azuka “Jay-Jay” Okocha. Georginio Gregion Emile Wijnaldum.

  17. Up44 says:

    Georginio Gregion Emile Wijnaldum.

  18. fab says:

    The body of Evidence!

  19. Peters says:

    Ryan “gag-order” Giggs?

    but in all fairness, the ballsdeep middle name was far superior

  20. Alex says:

    How about footballers with more “mouthfull-y” names who have plain middle names? Tendayi David Darikwa springs to mind…

  21. slob says:

    Steve Fucking Claridge

  22. TäSH says:

    My alltime favorite: Mark Peter Gertruda Andreas van Bommel. GERTUDA!!!!!!

  23. Mumbles says:

    Mark Peter Gertruda Andreas van Bommel. I mean c’mon… Gertruda is just too much.

  24. Geraldo says:

    Not exectly the same thing…but Lionel Messi is named after his father’s favourite singer Lionel Richie, therefore that’s how his name should be pronounced (as opposed to Leee-oh-nell.)

    (A mate of mine suggested the other night that maybe he should change his name to Norman Stanley Messi given his recent two month, er, absence. Still, at least he still has three weeks to file his self assessment…)

  25. guille_cl says:

    In South America you’ll find plenty of footballers with curious middle names, check out Michael Jordan Contreras (Contreras being the surname) just for instance…

  26. Anonymous says:

    Eduardo Amilcar

  27. Ballsy says:

    Haha funny stuff. Although I can barely talk!

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