15 Footballers With Impressively Monstrous Thighs (Photos)

Chris Wright

13th, January 2014


By Chris Wright

Make your own mind up as to which crowd we’re catering to with this one, but here’s Pies’ comprehensive run-down of the ten most monstrously-thighed fellows in the biz-uh-niss…

1. Clarence Seedorf

Oo-er missus, Seedorf has bulging thighs like a Danish Blue bullock

AC Milan vs Lazio Rome

2. Stuart Pearce

As his fearsome free-kicks duly attest, Psycho possessed thighs like wads of boiled ham and he wasn’t prudish about showing them off either…

Soccer - Nottingham Forest Pre-Season - Bordeaux, France

3. Cristiano Ronaldo

Hairless, veinous and with a top-spec satin finish to boot…


4. Roberto Carlos

We believe ‘bulbous’ is an adequate descriptive word for Bobby C’s nebulous quads…


5. Hulk

They’re pretty much just painting on Hulk’s shorts these days…

Soccer - UEFA Champions League - Group G - Austria Vienna v Zenit St Petersburg - Ernst Happel Stadium

6. Scott Parker

Proportionally speaking, Parker has the faint look of the ‘Oompa Loompa’ about him…

Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Fulham v West Bromwich Albion - Craven Cottage

7. Cyrille Regis

You simply had to have an impressive set of pins to carry off a pair of 1980s football shorts with such panache…

Cyrille Regis Coventry 1988

8. Sergio Aguero

He may be only ‘ickle,

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