10 Big, Dirty, Fearless Predictions For The 2014/15 Premier League Season

Chris Wright

12th, August 2014


By Chris Wright

After the roaring 99.9% success rate we enjoyed with our bold ‘n’ brassy predictions for last year’s 2013/14 Premier League season (not that you need to check our claim, but they’re available to peruse here) we thought it would be only fair to come at you with another round of peerlessly informed clairvoyance for this upcoming year.

Without further ado, let’s plough in…


1. Chelsea will win the 2014/15 Premier League title. Yes, it’ll be super boring, but that squad looks impenetrably formidable. Put it this way: if the Blues don’t snag the biggy this time round, it’ll be a huge failure on Jose Mourinho’s part.

Soccer - Brendan Rodgers File Photo

2. Liverpool will not finish in the top four. Brendan’s group reached their absolute zenith last season. No Suarez, no party.

3. The top four will be, in order: Chelsea, Man City, Man Utd, Arsenal (of course!).

Britain Soccer Premier League Preview

4. Tottenham are going to struggle. New manager; new system; lop-sided, unbalanced squad; most of 2013’s higgledy piggledy signings still playing catch-up. Looks like a recipe for trouble at t’ mill.

Also, as Spurs’ record signing, Erik Lamela needs to pull his finger out this season, asap.


5. The top goalscorer will be: Stefan Jovetic is a dark horse after a injury-blighted maiden season at Man City last year, but as we’ve been silly and publicly backed him to stutter at Chelsea, this one’s almost definitely got Diego Costa’s name all over it!

Soccer - Barclays Premier League Pre-season Package

6. First managerial casualty: West Ham’s perennial fan favourite manager, Corpulent Samuel, is once again the odds-on bookie’s favourite to win the sack race, but we’ve got a sneaking suspicion that Alan Irvine at West Brom shall be first to be relieved of his duties.

We’re reluctant to admonish the guy, but he’s got zilcho star power and could be replaced by a much higher-profile candidate in a split-second if things start going tits-up at The Hawthorns.

Soccer - Pre Season Friendly - Stoke City v Real Betis - Britannia Stadium

7. Fantasy football bargain will be: Philippe Coutinho is definitely being primed for a big season with Liverpool as almost all of the creative onus is now on him, though he’s not exactly a cheap option.

Our pick is Bojan Krkic at Stoke, who has been scoring for fun in pre-season and may have just gone under the radar of your less-enlightened fantasy league cohorts.

Brazil Soccer Confed Cup Nigeria Uruguay

8. Biggest transfer flop: Brown Ideye, West Brom. Ponderous scoring record at almost every level, especially of late. Didn’t stop the Baggies mulching their club transfer record and spluffing £10-plus million to bring him in, mind you.

Soccer - 2014 Emirates Cup - Arsenal v AS Monaco - Emirates Stadium

9. Alexis Sanchez will have a slightly underwhelming first season at Arsenal. Though, much like Mesut Ozil last season, everyone will be really polite and strangely dismissive about it, despite the guy costing an arm and a soddin’ leg.

Soccer - Rio Ferdinand Press Conference - Harlington Sports Centre

10. The holy relegation triptych will be: Burnley, Leicester City and QPR. Back from whence you came, the whole bloody ‘orrible lot of you!

* * * * *

So, there you go my good people. Feel free to rate ‘em and slate ‘em as you see fit.

Also, let’s here your fearless predictions for 2014/15 too.

Fire away…

Posted in Betting & predictions, Featured, Newsnow, Top 10s & lists

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  1. Bart says:

    Krkic was absolute shite last year at Ajax. It would surprise me if he impressed in the Premier League.

  2. Ross says:

    Agree with Bojan, bargain, got him in the fantasy team! De Jong for NUFC looks a steal as well. Ajax captain, d!cked all over Man City in the Champs league, 2 goals in Manchester? £7.5m prem fantasy league :)

    Fancy Chelski for the league, don’t think Liverpool will have that bad of a season. They will miss Jaws, er, I do mean Suarez but Sturridge was a 20 + scorer last season with injuries, keep him fit and we will see.

    First managerial casualty, MP of Spurs, Levy does like a good old change or two!

    I am off now to sit with Hargreaves on that fence, no more predictions for me!

  3. Greg says:

    What’s with all the West Brom hate Chris? “Alan Irvine is our saviour” he says without any real conviction.

  4. Tosh Rodgers says:

    Such anti-arsenal. Definatlly a copy of The Mail lying about the WAATP HQ on a daily basis…

  5. Sam says:

    Did you pen some of this before the Charity/Community Happy Meal plate on Sunday?Sanchez seems to be settling in pretty quickly. And with so many poor teams (easily 11 candidates for relegation) I think he might enjoy himself this season.

    Also, when was the last time all three promoted clubs went down? It just doesn’t happen anymore. At least one of them gets their preparation right and makes a good fist of it. Although I agree, it is hard to see which of them this time around.

  6. sirreg says:

    I predict a Liverpool fan will post a violent outburst on here after reading prediction number 2.

  7. Bill says:

    Top 4:
    1. Liverpool
    2. Man City
    3. Chelsea
    4. Man Utd.

    Top Scorer:
    Daniel Sturridge

    Best Transfer:
    Dejan Lovren

    Worst Transfer:
    Diego Costa / Adam Lallana

    Southampton (sorry guys)
    West Brom

    At least one of these is going to happen.

  8. other dave says:

    @Bill I will stick my neck out too and say that at least 1 of the 20 premier league clubs will win the title this season.

  9. other dave says:

    @Bill: I too will stick my neck out there and predict that at least one of the twenty premier league clubs will win the title this year.

  10. squiggle says:

    At the moment my top seven are:

    Man City/Chelsea
    Man United

    I’m hoping Newcastle will have a decent season, so maybe them in eighth.

  11. Jimjam says:

    @ Squiggle I would love to see Newcastle in 8th with HBA coming back into the fold and being the player we all know he can be.

    With my Magpie bias acknowledged, my predictions:

    Ayoze Perez to be bargain of the season.
    Rolando Aarons to be the young gun of the season.

    Finally, and consequently, Mike Ashley to sell both in June to the highest bidder.

    @ Chris – What do you think of the Lascelles & Darlow move/subsequent loan back? Happy for the $$ and loan or on Pearce’s side?

    • Chris says:

      @Jimjam: Think it was inevitable they’d leave at some stage this summer (perhaps not Darlow, but definitely Lascelles) and the cash is always nice, but it seems to be an FFP-related wiggle more than anything else.

      On last season’s evidence, Lascelles is promising but not half the player his suitors seemed to value him at (QPR reportedly bid £6m at one point).

      Darlow’s a stable, just-above-ordinary young GK. They’ll both be welcome at the City Ground for another year but neither really scream “Premier League” to me.

  12. Greg says:

    @Chris I can perfectly understand your concern but I think Irvine will actually be pretty good. It won’t be pretty but it’ll work somehow. The jury’s still out on Brown as no one has actually seen him play.

  13. Levon-Levy Tujapi says:

    Unless I am wrong, you did not score a 99.9% success in your last prediction. Suarez stayed passed the date of 2 Sept. 2013; Alan Pardew still there, kicking (maybe the last kick of a dying horse) and top Four Prediction (City, Man Utd, Man City, Arsenal), guess who finish 2nd…

  14. Bollocks says:

    I have faith none of this will happen since your last predictions were shite

  15. superman says:

    Surely you can’t predict Arsenal over Liverpool? Arsenal might start strong after being buoyed by the CS but just like last year they’ve got no sustaining ability

  16. Mr. Chopper says:

    Nobody other than a Liverpool fan can see them doing as well as they did last year but, outside of the loss of Luis, they’ve strengthened fairly considerably. United will have a better season than last, but there’s still a lot of rot in that team that’ll cause confidence/performance issues when push comes to shove. Arsenal look as though everything’s finally come into place at the right time, which probably means they’ll do ace for about 75% of the season then lose a couple of big time Charlies and drop out of the race. They’re pinning a lot on that fitness coach/company and why not..? Liverpool’s chief bonce-stroker was about two games away from being seen as the Derren Brown of the terraces.


    Not necessarily in that order.

  17. Boom says:

    Chris, are you making these predictions based on current squad or based on predicted/hypothetical squad once the transfer window closes? Current ManU squad will get 6th place. They won’t come anywhere near the top 4 and the reasons are obvious enough. (Like playing a system that requires 3 center backs and having a squad of 3 mediocre center backs that are rarely healthy, for starters.) Although, there is a ton of talk of Di Maria, etc joining. That will help obviously. But, if we’re allowed to go hypothetical, I say Wenger buys Hummels and Cavarlho and they add stoutness to their creative wizardry and run away with the title. No one’s buying it. And no one thinks (even LVG, I promise) that ManU’s current squad will come close.


  18. Jarren says:

    I predict that I will enjoy watching football for the next 9 months.

    Pain may be involved on the way.

    United for the title, of course.

    van Gaal took the Netherlands to the semis on a squad quite similar to ours, he has the knowledge to bring the absolute best out of players.

    Plus, I can see some big moves to United in the January transfer window.

    Loyalty aside, I’m really looking forward to an amazing season.

    Let’s get it on…

  19. Anonymous says:

    Well done you’ve got a 50% success rate you bunch of clueless cunts

  20. Boom again says:

    @Jarren. I’m curious how the current ManU squad is similar to Holland’s… other than RvP, of course. Holland was built completely around the talents of Robben and his supremacy in counter-attacking situation. ManU has absolutely no one like that (as evidenced by LVG saying we don’t have a Di Maria — because DiMaria is on the market and Robben is not.)

    Also, playing a 3-5-2 for one month is ENTIRELY different than for 1 year. Reason being — you need 5 center backs and a minimum of 4 wing backs to carry on. At the very least. The work load on the wing backs is extraordinary in this system, so if you don’t have 4 good ones, your SOL. There’s a chance that 2 on each side won’t be enough. Certainly 3 injury proned center backs is absurdly insufficent for playing in this system for an entire year.

    Having said that: the front 3 look good. Mata behind Rooney and RvP. Herrera looks great. But, the squad is around them is extremely below the standards of ManU and any team aspiring for the top 4. Save of Adnan who has no place in the team anymore.

  21. Everton will get top 4

  22. Anonymous says:

    top 4 man united chelsea man city liverpool

  23. b says:

    every now and then i re-check your predictions. you’re good, pies. you are good.

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