Five reasons why Clive Tyldesley is probably the world’s most annoying commentator

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25th, April 2007

21 Comments

Tyldesley.JPG1 He is biased in Manchester United’s favour to the point that he would probably no longer be allowed to commentate on the BBC even if he was good enough (and it’s a big if). During his four years at the Beeb in the early 1990s he was assigned to a grand total of four live matches!


2 He has an annoying, nasal voice which makes you wonder who encouraged him to talk in public, never mind commentate on TV.
3 He makes needlessly melodramatic outbursts. Such as – during last night’s Man Yoo-Milan semi-final – his fate-tempting: “Carlo Ancelotti said United are predictable. Oh, they’re predictable alright: they also score early against Italian teams.” Hmm, there’s the bold and italic functions. Anyone know where the venom button is?!
4 He can rarely make it through 90 minutes without referring to Man Yoo’s Champions League victory over Bayern Munich in 1999.
5 His commentary career has nose-dived since former co-commentator Ron Atkinson’s racist outburst against Marcel Desailly, and not many people can say that!
[Rob Parker]

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21 Comments

  1. Ollie, Pies Ed. says:

    Just five things!?

  2. Rob P says:

    Well, annoying as he is, I wouldn’t want him hanging himself or anything like that! Feel free to add your own though (plenty to go round!).

  3. Anonymous says:

    David Pleat is far more annoying. look David Pleat up on Wikipedia. classic the kerb crawling perv is the worst commentator in the world i despise ITV football due to these two knuckle heads.

  4. Anonymous says:

    David pleat is the most annoying commentator in the world, look the Kerb crawling perv up on Wikipedia, well worth it for a good laugh.
    ‘Pascal Shimbomba’ – Tosser
    These two knuckle heads are the reason why watching ITV’s football is so painfull

  5. Ollie, Pies Ed. says:

    The most annoying thing in football is Graham Taylor’s inability to pronounce Gael Clichy’s surname. Turnip always says ‘cliche’, without fail, and it drives me crazy. Aaargh!

  6. Left Back says:

    I wouldn’t want him hanging himself or anything like that!
    I wouldn’t mind someone doing it for him.

  7. Cole says:

    Man Utd vs AC Milan. Old Trafford. ITV. 1-0 to Man Utd. 21st minute. Clive Tyldesley:
    “Kaka is always going to be able to put one past van der Sar.
    Bam. Goal. Twat!

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  9. lee c says:

    “Graham Taylor’s inability to pronounce Gael Clichy’s surname”
    His inability to pronounce any foreign surname:
    Bebeto = “bebeeto”
    Zidane = “Zidarney”
    Clive Tyldesley is a tosser, ALWAYS crowbarring fecking United v Bayern in. “And it’s night-time here in London, very much like it was night-time that glorious night at the Nou Camp in 1999”
    he is also thick, in one commentary I remember him saying “and if you United don’t win here, then they will have to get a win in Deportivo”. Deportivo is a football team Clive you numbnuts, La Cruna is what the they are in. Dick-brain.

  10. Joe says:

    Tyldesley’s probably the worst commentator in England (though Andy Gray has been getting on my nerves tremendously of late), but Taylor is massacred in the Crap Pundit stakes by Glenn Hoddle, who is in every meaning of the word a highly disturbing human being.

  11. OmegaSupremeho says:

    Pleat makes my skin crawl, his self satisfaction with his obvious observations “see told you Kaka was a good player”; Der we know dick. The whole ITV crew are a buch of weirdos, someone needs to wield the axe.
    Bring back Atkinson, he’s rehabilitated now I reckon.

  12. jamilinho says:

    yeah, andy grey is seriously bad.. he can only state the obvious after the fact has already happened..he never adds anything useful to the commentary.

  13. bryn says:

    Pleat is the worst – the way he pronounces so many names wrong. in one game i remember him calling the arsenal defender ‘sonderos’ and ‘sen dare os’.
    infact alot of pundits are crap, in particular Mark ‘say what you see’ Bright, and Andy ‘I just did’ Townsend

  14. LFC 5 says:

    itv have two of the most loathed commentators,
    Tyldesley and Drury.
    Tyldesley for his Man U Bias and being a crap commentator,Drury for just being crap.
    Whereas Jon Champion is class and should never have left the BBC, if he was still at the beeb he would probably be no 2 commentator behind Motson, and take over as number 1 when Motson hangs up his mic.
    And we wouldn`t have to listen to Jonathan Pearce another nasal commentator.

  15. alex says:

    Clive is the best commentator in the world
    Dramatic voice cut out for football

  16. Dave F says:

    Motty has GOT to be worse than Tyldesley.
    Why is Kaka always Ka Kar??
    It totally drives me nuts – does no one have the balls to tell him he pronounces foreign names incorrectly ALL THE BLEEDIN TIME!!!!
    What a twat!

  17. dave says:

    If you think Clive Tyldesley is bad, have you guys ever heard the BBC’s Steve Wilson?
    The man defines the word “twat”. Screechy, nasal, overdramatic, arrogant tosser. Give me the ITV lot over that prick any day.

  18. ben says:

    He has just managed to mention manchester united whilst commentating on a rugby match!
    Tool

  19. brian roscoe says:

    Clive Tyldesley’s accent is very strange. Apparently he comes from Lancashire and has worked in Nottingham. So how come he’s got such a weird nasal southern accent ? His voice is also somewhat effeminate. I read that he once commentated on Rugby League! How unsuitable can you get?
    Every time there’s a match on ITV I have to turn off the volume, or watch something else – Clive’s a pain in the arse.

  20. […] reason that the BBC’s coverage is a billion times better than the amateurish idiot-fest offered up by ITV is that they’ve seen fit to keep John Motson away from the commentary box […]

  21. […] game got off to a slow start, caused in no small part by the fact that Clive Tyldesley was commentating on the game on his own after Jim Beglin had been struck down by  an ear […]