This week Pies salutes some of football’s finest schnozzles.
1 Steve Ogrizovic
Steve Ogrizovic boasts a head that has been kicked so many times it looks like it tried to make the grade as a ball before converting to be a goalkeeper. Oggy’s nose(s) have brave/daft keeper written all over it/them. The nose is so wonky that it looks like three very thin noses stuck together.
2 Gareth Southgate
Southgate has a truly amazing nose which you could look at a thousand times and still notice something different about. There is certainly more than a hint of bird of prey about this effort. And the beauty of it is that it looks deceptively normal head-on.
3 Phil Thompson
Football’s answer to Concorde. The ex-Liverpool favourite was one of the few Reds players of the 1970s not to sport a moustache, but the shadow from his nose more than made up for this. One of a couple of Horror Hooters now adorning our television screens.
4 Gordon Cowans
A wonderful example of a wonky one-sided nose (we’ll let you decide which side). The ex-Aston Villa man paraded his schnozzle in Italy for three years with Bari.
5 Steve Bruce
Birmingham boss, former Manchester