Famed for playing fast and loose when it came to likenesses, Pies thought we’d take the opportunity to examine some of the least flattering Corinthian football figurines ever committed to resin.
Let’s delve in shall we, starting with a real howler…
Wayne Rooney
Somehow even more potato-ier than the real thing…
Mark Crossley
Big Norm had a certain rugged charm about him. This looks like ‘lumbering henchman #2’ from every action film ever made…
Lee Bowyer
The smug b*stard…
Tim Sherwoord
Try, try, try as they might, they just couldn’t get Timmy right…
Ronaldo
Not even close…
Charlie Adam
Looks like he spends his days trying to stop billy goats crossing his bridge…
David Beckham
Classic Becks, with trademark fly-away fringe and Vietnam vet 1,000-yard stare…
Paul Warhurst
Just unnecessarily harsh. Corpses have been dredged out of rivers in better nick..
Dennis Wise
All confuzzled…
Tony Adams
Looks more like Nicholas Lyndhurst…
Scott Gemmill
Definite frizz problems up top…
Michael Reiziger
Come on now, that’s just cruel…
Clarence Seedorf
Obviously made by somebody who had no earthly idea what a ‘Clarence Seedorf’ was…
Fabio Coloccini
Dead ringer for Michael Bolton…
Henrik Larsson
Larsson probably has grounds to sue over this one…
Frank Sinclair
Amazingly, Corinthian have managed to capture Frank’s general air of bungling calamity…
Gareth Bale
There’s malice in them thar eyes…
Robbie Fowler
Duuuh, gee boss…
Oliver Kahn
Looking like the butch warden at a 1950s women’s correctional facility…
Carlos Valderrama
Absolutely spot on (apart from the hair and face)…
Bloody hell. Thank God that’s over. We don’t think we could’ve taken any more.
If you’ve got any other shouts Pies fans, then we’d love to see ’em!