With the tournament set to splutter into life in mere hours, England have finally pumped out their official squad portraits for the 2018 World Cup.
As you might expect, the photos contain some complex and intriguing poses, with the body language on show providing glimpses into the players’ barest souls.
Here Pies thought we’d dig down into the very nucleus of every stance utilised and try to uncover the very English truths buried deep within…
The Look: When you’re already resigned to the fact that, whatever may happen over the next few weeks, everything is already all your fault in the eyes of a nation.
When you were on best behaviour so mum let you wear your new England shirt while eating your tea, but you got some spaghetti hoop sauce on it by mistake.
When you’re three eccies deep but you need to ask a club bouncer where the taxi rank is.
When you’re well chuffed with the new Lynx pit spray.
When you accidentally leave the coat hanger in the back of your shirt but are too polite to remove it.
When you and your equally nutty mate have a couple of Kopparbergs before discovering the photo booth at your best mate’s wedding.
(EDIT: That wouldn’t be a gun-related pose, would it chaps? Heaven forbid The Sun find out)
When your name gets read out over the supermarket tannoy.
When you manage to get the final touch on a rolled-up ball of socks your room mate was tossing into the laundry hamper.
When your diet solely consists of Monster energy drinks, Tutti-Frutti vapes and 72-hour long Fortnite sessions.
When you’re the prat who brings his own pool cue to the pub.
When you secretly enjoy eating shampoo.
When the local paper turns up to take photos of you in front of the giant pothole that knackered your suspension.
When your voicemail message is still ‘WAZZZZUUUUUUUUUP!’
When you absolutely just haven’t got the faintest idea what to do with your hands when getting your photo taken.
Astonishingly revealing stuff across the board.