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Top 20 Most Slappable Premier League Footballers

By Ollie Irish

Updating a popular list we first published back in March 2007…


Picture 1 of 20

#20 David Bentley - Cocky son of a gun, could use a firm tap on the jaw

Photos: PA

NB. This is an entirely subjective list, which no doubt many of you will quibble with. Feel free to comment on your most slappable players, especially if it makes you feel better about me disagreeing with your opinion.

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By Ollie Irish on May 26th, 2010 in Featured, Photos, Top 10s & lists. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

47 Responses to “Top 20 Most Slappable Premier League Footballers”

  1. Hootie says:

    Fletch and Gallas missing the list is a travesty.

  2. Chris says:

    Jose Antonio Reyes, cannot stand the bufty.

  3. Kipp says:

    Did you forget Lee Bowyer is a premier league player?

    I think you did…

  4. mizman says:

    vidic??!?! that ones lost on me.

    Matt taylor and obviously joey barton

  5. qwerty says:

    Haha, Diouf looks like he has a halo on top of his head. how ironic

  6. Jack says:

    hes not a player but phil brown would get a big slap round his satsuma face

  7. Dave says:

    Gerrard defo would top my list. Cheating diving whining little shit. Id dig him with so many lefts he’ed be crying out for a right.

  8. Joe says:

    All of Chelsea, except for Joe Cole, Alex (As that would be extremely foolish) and Belletti.

  9. Nick says:

    Gareth Bale! I cringe when I see his face and the way the douche runs…

  10. Chris says:

    Come on, no Eboue???

    He’s a biggest crybaby in the premier league, yet he will quite happily take out somebody two footed and then plead his innocence

  11. Vicky says:

    You can’t slap David Bentley, he has a lovely face!

  12. Good list, and hard to disagree with any of your choices. I’d probably add Kevin Prince Boateng, Fabregas, Gallas and Judas Campbell though.

  13. Fredo Corleone says:

    i sure hope you don’t get paid for making lists like these.

    i mean you could at least justify yourself. “something dislikable” “look at his face” and “you know why” on 3 occasions.

    comment #9 Nick – you used the word “douche”. you sir, deserve the slap.

  14. Meji says:

    David Bentley = #1

  15. Duke says:

    Carlos Tevez belongs at the top of the list, even given the other slappable douches on City.

  16. Eboue says:

    What about Diaby? Hes not a prick or anything its just the fact hes a lazy pathetic cunt

  17. Thomas says:

    Nani needs a good backhand, Gallas too…but I’m afraid Gallas might pick up an injury if he gets slapped.

  18. bazinga says:

    ollie needs a firm slap on teh face !

  19. Rob says:

    Good work, I agree with nearly every one, as a Liverpool fan I have to disagree with a couple, although I could give Masch myself. Michael Brown would sneak into my list somewhere.

  20. Quincy says:

    Please; Ballack and Ferdinand :O

  21. RJ says:

    Drogba should be No 1. That greasy, rolling on the floor for 20mins in the game, @##$%

  22. bria says:

    Cahill i could kind of understand with the flag, Shawcross….why would you? and the biggest injustice of them all Vidic…..the man is a robot how do you mean he cant take them???? Other than that the list is spot on……would replace Shawcross and Vidic with Joey Barton and Fabregas……i can’t stand him at all!!!

  23. shay says:

    I know he’s a mananger, but I think every Liverpool fan should have the chance to lay into Rafa Benetiz at least one time. No way on Vidic and can’t believe Tevez isn’t #1 with a bullet!

  24. Gill Man says:

    Where is Ricardo Carvalho?
    Where is Carlos Teves?
    Where is William Gallas?
    Where is Micael Ballack?
    Where is Micael Brown?
    Where is Lee Bowyer?

    Not exactly players but…
    Arsehole Wenger
    Rafael Benitez

    Come on.

    Defoe, Vidic, Owen, all a tad harsh.

  25. dbex says:

    Agree on Terry, Cole, Diouf, Bellamy, Mascherano, Adebayor. Would add Tevez, Bowyer, Pedersen, Campbell, DeJong, Jenas, Fabio AND Rafael, Fuller and Skrtel. And Fabianski, because he sucks.

  26. Nick says:

    comment # 13. “fredo corleone” sweet name choice way to go for the “douchiest” of the three brothers in the corleone family…douche

  27. Alex says:

    After Cantona, have to say that Gary’s my favourite player right now.

  28. Maestro says:

    Where on earth is Robbie Savage? He is an absolute cretin!

  29. Connor says:

    gary neville #1, and i’d fly to madrid to slap ronaldo

  30. chris says:

    Where, the fook, is LUCAS LEIVA???

  31. A bro from US says:

    If you dont like van persie you deserved to get a cumshot in ur ear

  32. gc says:

    No Fabregas or Arshavin? As ruler of the internet, I declare this list invalid.

  33. […] ‘Pies features a list of the 20 most slappable Premier League players. […]

  34. Fitzy says:

    Chris says:
    May 26, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    Jose Antonio Reyes, cannot stand the bufty.

    Maestro says:
    May 27, 2010 at 12:22 am

    Where on earth is Robbie Savage? He is an absolute cretin!

    Yes, they both still play in the Premier League ………………..

  35. Chris says:

    @Fitzy: Yeah I know, I only realised it was a ‘Prem only’ list after I submitted the comment.

    Anyway, I stand by my choice!

  36. "danger" hollis says:


  37. Laurence says:

    Owen is very harsh in my opinion. David Bentley would have been No.1 for me. Horrible individual

  38. Bluebybirth says:

    list is complete shit.

  39. Chongyyy says:

    as if cahill is annoying because he punches the flag….thats his celebration the boxing kangaroo you dont put nani there for his acrobats or tevez for his as shake… but then again…your a spurs fan you dont know s*** about football!!

  40. ReneX ROdrigueS says:

    My 3 would be … 1. TOTTI dat TWAT has no respect for humanity.. he needs to be spit on by PIGS.. 2. Paul scholes a.k.a CUNT SCHOLES has a lot of pride his self esteem goes fkn low…wen youngsters snatch d ball frm him… needs to be whipped by MOurinhO 3. Rooney CUNT OF A SORT… arrogant , Sly BItch… trips down Players wen he cant get d Ball…! FKN deserves a PUnch..!

  41. karan says:

    ur obviously very biased

    how about benoit assou akkoto..spurs fans know why
    aaron lenon for his horrid eyebrow styling
    luka (midget) particular reason ..jus to see if he could handle a little tap
    and any player who ever played 4 spurs..:-P

  42. Katee. says:

    I’m so glad Shawcross is on this list! What an arsehole!

    But Drogba should be #1… ARGH. HE IRRITATES ME SOOO MUCH.

  43. Cassious says:

    cahill, drogba, neville, terry, and fabregas ID SLAP HIM WITH A CRICKET BAT !

  44. Cassious says:

    HEY DICKFACE i dont know why.. why are carra nad gerro on this list?

  45. Cassious says:

    id slap the whole arsenal team… including the scandalous wenger!

  46. Cassious says:

    #7 dave is a dickless fuck!

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