Pies Classics: The Football Sex Tape XI
Pies assembles a NSFW team of players who we’ve seen much more of than we ever wanted to…
Stefan Postma
When footballers’ sex videos make it into the public domain, embarassment is to be expected. But you unleash a whole new world of shame on yourself when said video contains footage of your girlfriend taking you from behind with the aid of a strap-on (see above). Step forward, Stefan Postma. It could only happen to a Dutch goalkeeper.
Stan Collymore
In contrast to the stolen camcorders of some of his Sex Tape XI team-mates, Collymore actually had an injunction taken out against him to stop him selling a sex video to the tabloids. TV presenter, and Sven’s former bit-on-the-side, Ulrika Jonsson went to court to prevent Collymore making public a video filmed while on holiday in Jamaica.
Russell Hoult
The then Derby County keeper was filmed having a threesome with a blonde and his mobile phone-wielding mate, whilst wearing nothing but his club polo shirt. As you can imagine, his wife and two kids were not best pleased when the story hit the tabloids.
Mark Bosnich
Via a secretly rigged-up camera at Dwight Yorke’s house, Bosnich was filmed enjoying an orgy with four women and Yorke himself. The video featured the colourful Aussie keeper being whipped and wearing a dress.
Ben Alnwick, Chris Brown and Liam Lawrence
The trio were stars of the infamous Sunderland orgy sex tape. The seven-minute video features the players having sex with a 16-year-old brunette, with Brown providing a Match of the Day-style commentary throughout. Classy.
Rio Ferdinand, Frank Lampard and Kieron Dyer
The England trio got over the disappointment of missing out on Kevin Keegan’s Euro 2000 squad by hitting up Ayia Napa. While partying in Cyprus (with a group of footballers including Jody Morris, Jason Euell, Michael Duberry and Jonathan Woodgate – lovely lads, all) the trio ended up in a hotel room with a group of Spanish girls and a camcorder. As often happens in these cases, the camera was mysteriously stolen and ended up in the hands of the tabloids.
Leroy Lita
In 2007 the Reading striker used his mobile to film himself having sex. He then sent the video to some of his team-mates. The one minute, 53 seconds clip spread throughout the football community like a virus.
A version of this post was first published in 2007
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“Oi lads, don’t jizz on me sheets!”
Frank Lampard, June 2000.
There’s a lot of goalies on that list, is there something about those jerseys that sends them sex mad?
That had struck me as I was writing it (the number of goalkeepers that is, not Frank Lampard’s jizz – thankfully). Perhaps it’s the gloves!
So, it could only happen to a Dutch keeper? On video, maybe. You’d be surprised (or maybe not) at the huge number of men -footballers of all playing positions,too- who enjoy taking it up the backside by their girlfriends (or other people’s girlfriends and wives), simply because they enjoy it as part of the sexual act. If it’s between -or among- consenting adults, it’s all good. If it’s taped and made public, it’s vulgar and offensive.
HFHJY
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