DISCLAIMER: All Who Ate All the Pies’ lists lack objectivity, so if you disagree with any of our choices then please vent your spleen by adding a comment. (Of course, I’ll still be rightâ€¦)
9 Claude Makelele
Sits in front of the best defence in the country, makes a few tackles and then passes the ball sideways. Easy peasy.
8 Stewart Downing
He makes Gareth Barry look good. ‘Nuff said.
7 Jermain Defoe
I’ve heard more than one misguided commentator call him the best natural goalscorer in England (David Platt, for one). Utter rubbish.
6 Pepe Reina
The horse has bolted on this one, but I never rated the big Spaniard (honestly!). No improvement on Dudek really.