Who Ate All the Pies Premiership Pub XI


12th, September 2006

In the light of Shay Given‘s overdue criticism of Newcastle’s ‘sub-pub standard defence’ (Titus, I think he means you), here’s Who Ate All the Pies’ Premiership Pub XI, featuring eleven players who you might not be surprised to find yourself up against on a rainy Sunday morning on Hackney Marshes…

Who Ate All the Pies Premiership Pub XI continued…

Pepe Reina A big unit, but prone to calamitous errors. Just like a pub-team keeper, basically.

Ben Thatcher
Because every pub XI needs a mindless thug.

Titus Bramble
First name on the team sheet.
Ricardo Carvalho The flash foreigner who always tries to beat the whole team on his own.

Phil Neville
Mr Reliable. Ie. won’t have a pint with the lads after the game – drinks orange juice instead.

Robbie Savage The type of player who winds you up constantly. Foul him.

Darren Fletcher
Tenacious Scots lad, runs around like a headless chicken. Not a lot of skill though.

Gareth Barry (capt.)
His main talent is collecting subs every week.

Sean Wright-Phillips
There’s always one player in any pub team who is much too fast for the wheezy thirtysomethings to mark. SWP fits the bill.

Paul Dickov
Annoying little Scotsman, the backbone of every pub team.

Leroy Lita
Reading’s headbutt master (allegedly) would be able to sort out any trouble, backed up by Messrs Savage and Dickov.

Posted in Top 10s & lists

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