XI worst possible new England managers


26th, November 2007


Well we say worst possible new England manager but we were are working within the realms of reality here (for once). In other words the list takes for granted that the new man will probably already have some experience within the game of football and probably some experience in management too. Hopefully this explains George W Bush’s omission.
Alan Shearer
It is not the time to be taking a gamble on an untried manager. He may have the respect of the players but (as those with a good enough memory to remember the hassle he got towards the end of his international playing days will vouch) that can soon change.

Stuart Pearce
Psycho has got Steve McClaren Mark II written all over him. Maybe in 15 years but for now his tactical knowledge is not up to international level. You wouldn’t expect any accusations that he lacked passion to be levelled at him though!
Sam Allardyce
Probably the News of the World’s preferred candidate. You would imagine Big Sam has got some skeletons that would prefer to stay in the cupboard than take on one of the world’s most high-profile jobs.
Luis Felipe Scolari
This is probably no time for national pride, but crawling back to a man who has turned you down once is taking things a bit too far.
Jurgen Klinsmann
See above comment regarding national pride, but a German England manager would be a new low (or should that be Löw?).
Terry Venables
For once there is no imminent competitive football to worry about. It is time for a clean break and continually harking back to Euro 96 is not going to solve England’s current problems.
Rafa Benitez
If throwing your hat in the ring is how you signal your interest in the job, Rafa has been dangling his sombrero over the ring as part of some Anfield power struggle. He would probably be the most whiny England manager of all time.
Roy Keane
Why appoint someone who makes a point of coming home from World Cups early?
Alan Curbishley
Other than he is English, I am not sure why Curbs has been touted as a candidate for the job. He did a decent job for many years at Charlton but he has hardly set the world alight at West Ham and lacks experience in European football never mind international football.
Tony Adams
Basically for the same reasons as Pearce. He is still learning his trade and it is far too early in his managerial career to be taking on the England job.
Sven Goran Eriksson
Can you imagine Brian Barwick approaching Sven tail-between-legs to tell him that we were all wrong and he did the best he could with what he had? Let’s pretend it’s not true!

Posted in Top 10s & lists

Share this article: Email


  1. Fulhamista says:

    I dunno, I think it might be prudent to let Pearce play the midfield and forward lines of his U21’s (semi-final Euro exit after a long-ass, proper unlucky penalty loss to the champions and eventual winners, remember?) with the current back four (John Terry is one of the few absolved from blame in the last trainwreck of a campaign) and Robert ‘the’ Green ‘Machine’. We may just score some goals with Noble, Young, Johnson and Agbonlahor in the side, plus they’re NEVER dull to watch.
    As for Roy Keane, I’d have him as assistant to anyone for his ass kicking abilities. Mr and Mrs Not Bothered (you know who)need at the very least some booty bashing.

  2. suse says:

    its a terrible timw when there isn’t a name on that list who would be inspiring to the team ( I use the word lightly) and the country.
    anyway, whats wrong with dubya?

  3. pete says:

    In response to the first comment; I don’t understand why people are so keen to promote some of the U21s – as soon as the media got on their back they’d be rabbits in the headlights, just like Gerrard and Lamps.

  4. Pokler says:

    There’s another really good analysis of the potential managers here: http://cwoff.com/blog/sport/football/2007-11-26/the-next-england-manager/

  5. Brian says:

    Why are you making a list when many of these people already said they don’t want the job and who could blame them. Way to much pressure, although a good paycheck but I presume you’ll want some one to do it for the challenge than the wages.

  6. Fulhamista says:

    That’s not the media, that’s pure indifference. Mrs. Gerrard and Mrs. Lampard are not too bothered with making an effort as they are shit-scared of getting injured and having their precious careers harmed (anyone remember Van Basten?).
    Youth works, just look at the outstanding players of the last world cup: Lucas Podolski (turned 21 during the tournament), Ribery (was 23) and Ronaldo. Also, a couple of nearly-over-the-hill ones like Beckham are good for the team. Since he realised he makes his money getting his picture taken instead of playing football, he’s been one of the few to show some actual passion for the team.
    What we need is a combination of these two types of player (something to prove, nothing to lose) combined with some current stars (Terry, Ferdinand, Hargreaves, Joe Cole) who will play for their country out of honour, not obligation.

Leave a Reply