Townsend epitomises banal football punditry, laced with the lack of imagination that permeates British football. And bizarrely, he seems to be no better at his job now than he was when he started with ITV
Its common knowledge Ralf Little got turned down by Swindon Town… If even Swindon turn you down then you’re definintely not as good as you think you are!
I completely agree with your no1 most annoying tv personality as John Motson but should’nt it include his banal sidekick Mark Lawrenson? They should both be replaced by Douglas the lurpak butter man!
Marl Lawrenson does my head in. How about Mick McCarthy, his “punditry” in the World Cup was woeful.Oh, and Pat Nevin. I don’t think I like many pundits…
WHy do you entice us with a list of the most annoying football media people with a picture of Stan Collymore then don’t even put him on the list. He is one of those people who actually opens his mouth and spews out crap without even thinking what he’s actually saying, a complete twat!
Collymoore was on the radio the other day having a pop at a Sunderland defender for a tackle calling him a coward. Rich from a bloke that hits women. And his next pearl of wisdom. Wayne Rooney is finished, we have seen the best of him and Stan expects him to drop down the leagues. Why is this coward even allowed a platform? Trevor Francis is also awful commentating but is absent from this list :-)
Are you lads across the pond familiar with the holy trinity of Johnny Giles, Eamonn Dunphy and Liam Brady?? Provide the punditry on Irish tv.
The best bar none.
Some Dunphy quotes:
On Rio Ferdinand – ” Ferdinand is a clown. He was a liability for the
first goal and he is always a liability. It was Jan Vennegoor of
Hesselink against Rio Ferdinand of Barclays Bank. ”
On Fabio Cannavarro – “If Rio Ferdinand is worth 100,000 a week, then
this guy is worth EUR100 million . . . . . a day”
On Barcelona – “After watching Watford against Manchester City last night that was like a bubblebath. It was beautiful.”
On Roy Keane – He’s a gentleman. He’s a class act. He’s a rebel. And he
stands up to bullies.”
On Roy Keane – “He’s right, he’s right about everything!”
On Niall Quinn – “I’m not gonna address the Niall Quinn agenda, Niall
Quinn is a creep”
On Niall Quinn – “The man’s an idiot, a Mother Theresa”
On Kevin Kilbane – “Kilbane’s head is better than his feet. If only he had three heads, one on the end of each leg.”
On Harry Kewell – “Kewell should have been yanked off the pitch at half time and put in a hot bath, a boiling hot bath.”
On Harry Kewell again – “He’s fat and a clown, Bill, a fat clown for all to see”
On Ireland in the 2002 World Cup – “I will be supporting Germany and
Saudi Arabia in the contests ahead.”
On Garth Crooks and Sven Goran Eriksson – “ha, ha, ha, that’s the first time you’ll see sex between 2 men live on the bbc”
On Djibril Cisse – “here we have Cisse, right wing, attempts to put in a cross, BANG…hits the full back, again BANG hits the full back,
BANG…off the full back again, and once more, BANG…smacks the full
back again…. Millions of euro and he can’t clear the first man, I
mean…whats he trying to do to the full back here, Kill him??”
On Liverpool v Barca – “I was hoping in the last fifteen minutes that
Barcelona would beat them. I’ve made my mine up on Benitez tonight. He’s a nice man but he’s got a huge negative streak running through him. Liverpool were terrible in the second half. They didn’t play football. If that was a concert, you’d boo. Gerrard: found out. A nothing player. They were terrible. Terrible.
JAIME REDKNAPP ALAN HANSEN PIERS MORGAN for numbers 2, 3 and 4. no reason they should not be on this list. he might be annoying but at least andy gray isnt a negative c*** all the time
has got to be Clive Tyldsley (i know spelling is wrong, but cant be bothered to look it up)
Andy Gray and Shearer played the game at a high level and know what they are talking about
Arguing with Souness during champions league coverage, Souness challenged him with the question;
Who have you managed? Dunphy, well known for party lifestyle replied…I’ve managed to stay alive haven’t I!
Had a montage of wenger made one night showing him as a type of basil fawlty character on the sideline, played it to brady (youth team manager at arsenal) and tried to rile him up. Brady went apeshit, Dunphy roars at him…get off the fence baby!
Also, pulled of the air during an ad break for being visible intoxicated, rte said he was tired and emotional.
Sure he’s all hyperbole but at least he has character. Fucking robots on the bbc and sky sports afraid to say anything out of the ordinary.
Its the Harry Kewell one that keeps getting me as I can hear him say it in my head “Hes fat and hes a clown Bill, hes a fat clown for all to see” :-) Between that one the bubblebath one and the Cisse trying to cross one im starting to feel robbed at the complete shower we get commentating over here. Only funny one I can think of was Clive Tyldsley when Man Utd played Inter in the champs league and Beckham piled into Diego Simeone (Acne riddled Argie) from behind and Tyldsley came out with “oooh caught hard from behind there by Beckham, perhaps Davids consumed with jealousy over Simeones good looks” Keep those Dunphy Diamonds coming The Truth if you got any more :-)
“What I’m seeing on Match of the Day every week is pretty dreadful. They just talk drivel. Whoever is winning is great, whoever isn’t, isn’t. It’s banal. And also semi-literate at times … they never criticise in an intelligent way. Anything that isn’t banal is said to be an outburst. They’ve created this cartoon world where everyone talks like Lineker and says nothing.”
– Eamonn Dunphy, in an interview for “442 Magazine”
“Can you imagine Tiger Woods or any of the great sportsmen; Lewis Hamilton, Padraig Harrington, Ruby Walsh the jockey – going out in front of a paying audience and playing like that – while they are world player of the year. It’s an absolute disgrace to the game…
What they saw tonight was an impersonator, a clown, a self-indulgent idiot really, doing crazy things. He’s a petulant brat Bill, poncing around all night…If you say that’s showbiz, this is showbiz Bill (points at self). If you really want to make it showbiz, take your gear off.”
– Eamon Dunphy, laying into Cristiano Ronaldo
“Imagine what Ireland might have done if led and inspired by a man of vision and courage. This is not very hard to do: Remember Giants Stadium, when with the spur of an early goal, the players overcame miserable tactics to humble Italy? Gifted with one of the most formidable squads in Europe Charlton squandered it all. In football terms Charlton has failed and should resign.”
“Look at this, you’d be taken off in the Phoenix Park for this. There, get that, one for the seagulls. Even you could play better than that Bill. Look, he tried to commit suicide. I’m thinking of making a comeback” Speaking about Germany’s Carnsten Jancker during the 2002 World Cup Finals.
“This guy is an idiot!” About Sven Goren Eriksson
“Football’s answer to Andy Capp” Dunphy on Jack Charlton
“He’s one of the biggest whingers in world football… he’s a bloody eejit.”
Probably the nicest thing he’s ever said about Mick McCarthy.
Don’t forget the time he fired his biro across the studio and said he was ashamed to be irish after we drew 0-0 with eygpt in italia 90!!
There’s enough morons involved in football media to fill a Top 30 list, never mind a Top 10. Mark Lawrenson’s got to be up there, his misery-guts schtick during the World Cup was unbelievable; Shearer’s become a joke; Gray and Tyler are a parody of themselves.
Also, anyone find Gareth Southgate’s insistence on using the first person plural when talking about England slightly grating? Wasn’t he meant to be the thinking man’s footballer? What happened there, then? Man’s an idiot…
Listening to Alan Green doing the Blackpool Man City match just now. Fucking hell I hate him. He’s my number one. Robbie Savage has been surprisingly quite good IMHO. I agree with everyone else on the list though.
should be townsend 1st hes the most fake git ive ever seen, look at that face hes pulling, the tw@, hes a drip of boring grey paint wheres clive tilslie he should be 2nd then alan hansen then she-ra then mark lawenceson i forgot that adrian git hes really annoying joint 1st
all of sky sports presenters are tw@s even the totty
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Its common knowledge Ralf Little got turned down by Swindon Town… If even Swindon turn you down then you’re definintely not as good as you think you are!
This list is awful…at least half of them should be top ten best football TV personalities ever. What would be your top ten best TV personatlities be?
I completely agree with your no1 most annoying tv personality as John Motson but should’nt it include his banal sidekick Mark Lawrenson? They should both be replaced by Douglas the lurpak butter man!
Marl Lawrenson does my head in. How about Mick McCarthy, his “punditry” in the World Cup was woeful.Oh, and Pat Nevin. I don’t think I like many pundits…
The lack of Jamie Redknapp renders this list invalid
i cant txt or do anything on my phone with
gloves!! how does steve claridge do it!!
he must be talented!!
WHy do you entice us with a list of the most annoying football media people with a picture of Stan Collymore then don’t even put him on the list. He is one of those people who actually opens his mouth and spews out crap without even thinking what he’s actually saying, a complete twat!
er, Stan IS on the list, 5 Live man
Collymoore was on the radio the other day having a pop at a Sunderland defender for a tackle calling him a coward. Rich from a bloke that hits women. And his next pearl of wisdom. Wayne Rooney is finished, we have seen the best of him and Stan expects him to drop down the leagues. Why is this coward even allowed a platform? Trevor Francis is also awful commentating but is absent from this list :-)
Alan Hansen?
Not football specific, but those two pricks from ESPN’s new ‘Pardon The Interruption’ are awful annoying!
It’s Drury for me. Can’t stand the man.
Are you lads across the pond familiar with the holy trinity of Johnny Giles, Eamonn Dunphy and Liam Brady?? Provide the punditry on Irish tv.
The best bar none.
Some Dunphy quotes:
On Rio Ferdinand – ” Ferdinand is a clown. He was a liability for the
first goal and he is always a liability. It was Jan Vennegoor of
Hesselink against Rio Ferdinand of Barclays Bank. ”
On Fabio Cannavarro – “If Rio Ferdinand is worth 100,000 a week, then
this guy is worth EUR100 million . . . . . a day”
On Barcelona – “After watching Watford against Manchester City last night that was like a bubblebath. It was beautiful.”
On Roy Keane – He’s a gentleman. He’s a class act. He’s a rebel. And he
stands up to bullies.”
On Roy Keane – “He’s right, he’s right about everything!”
On Niall Quinn – “I’m not gonna address the Niall Quinn agenda, Niall
Quinn is a creep”
On Niall Quinn – “The man’s an idiot, a Mother Theresa”
On Kevin Kilbane – “Kilbane’s head is better than his feet. If only he had three heads, one on the end of each leg.”
On Harry Kewell – “Kewell should have been yanked off the pitch at half time and put in a hot bath, a boiling hot bath.”
On Harry Kewell again – “He’s fat and a clown, Bill, a fat clown for all to see”
On Ireland in the 2002 World Cup – “I will be supporting Germany and
Saudi Arabia in the contests ahead.”
On Garth Crooks and Sven Goran Eriksson – “ha, ha, ha, that’s the first time you’ll see sex between 2 men live on the bbc”
On Djibril Cisse – “here we have Cisse, right wing, attempts to put in a cross, BANG…hits the full back, again BANG hits the full back,
BANG…off the full back again, and once more, BANG…smacks the full
back again…. Millions of euro and he can’t clear the first man, I
mean…whats he trying to do to the full back here, Kill him??”
On Liverpool v Barca – “I was hoping in the last fifteen minutes that
Barcelona would beat them. I’ve made my mine up on Benitez tonight. He’s a nice man but he’s got a huge negative streak running through him. Liverpool were terrible in the second half. They didn’t play football. If that was a concert, you’d boo. Gerrard: found out. A nothing player. They were terrible. Terrible.
@ Truth – Aye, well aware of RTE. They shit on Beeb and anyone else in England.
So he is, what the hell was I looking at?
Seconded on Hansen, he spouts some utter garbage sometimes.
It amuses me how Alan Green spends most of his commentary complaining about how he can’t fit into his seat, lose some weight then you fat bloater!
PS – No mention of Piers Moron?
Alan Hansen?
JAIME REDKNAPP ALAN HANSEN PIERS MORGAN for numbers 2, 3 and 4. no reason they should not be on this list. he might be annoying but at least andy gray isnt a negative c*** all the time
Eamonn Dunphy, the idiot’s intellectual; he could only have got away with a career as a football expert in Ireland that’s for sure.
What about Mark Bright? He just wont shut the fuck up
Since when has Piers Morgan been involved in football?
David Pleat? Colin Murray? This isn’t anywhere near as annoying as it could be.
has got to be Clive Tyldsley (i know spelling is wrong, but cant be bothered to look it up)
Andy Gray and Shearer played the game at a high level and know what they are talking about
Garth Crooks! the man is a fucking googly eyed cunt.
Sat literally crying at the Dunphy ones from the truth. great stuff mate made my morning :-)
‘mon out of kt, dunphy is quality!
Arguing with Souness during champions league coverage, Souness challenged him with the question;
Who have you managed? Dunphy, well known for party lifestyle replied…I’ve managed to stay alive haven’t I!
Had a montage of wenger made one night showing him as a type of basil fawlty character on the sideline, played it to brady (youth team manager at arsenal) and tried to rile him up. Brady went apeshit, Dunphy roars at him…get off the fence baby!
Also, pulled of the air during an ad break for being visible intoxicated, rte said he was tired and emotional.
Sure he’s all hyperbole but at least he has character. Fucking robots on the bbc and sky sports afraid to say anything out of the ordinary.
Ronnie Whelan, he is rubbish!!
Lawro is a creepy fucker.
Jamie Redknapp with his trousers bet up his hole. “Everything is brilliant”
Triffic junior is a lot more of a nuissance than his dad, in my opinion
Its the Harry Kewell one that keeps getting me as I can hear him say it in my head “Hes fat and hes a clown Bill, hes a fat clown for all to see” :-) Between that one the bubblebath one and the Cisse trying to cross one im starting to feel robbed at the complete shower we get commentating over here. Only funny one I can think of was Clive Tyldsley when Man Utd played Inter in the champs league and Beckham piled into Diego Simeone (Acne riddled Argie) from behind and Tyldsley came out with “oooh caught hard from behind there by Beckham, perhaps Davids consumed with jealousy over Simeones good looks” Keep those Dunphy Diamonds coming The Truth if you got any more :-)
Er… Where’s Tim Lovejoy?
Ollie you’ll have to set up a page for Dunphy!
“What I’m seeing on Match of the Day every week is pretty dreadful. They just talk drivel. Whoever is winning is great, whoever isn’t, isn’t. It’s banal. And also semi-literate at times … they never criticise in an intelligent way. Anything that isn’t banal is said to be an outburst. They’ve created this cartoon world where everyone talks like Lineker and says nothing.”
– Eamonn Dunphy, in an interview for “442 Magazine”
“Can you imagine Tiger Woods or any of the great sportsmen; Lewis Hamilton, Padraig Harrington, Ruby Walsh the jockey – going out in front of a paying audience and playing like that – while they are world player of the year. It’s an absolute disgrace to the game…
What they saw tonight was an impersonator, a clown, a self-indulgent idiot really, doing crazy things. He’s a petulant brat Bill, poncing around all night…If you say that’s showbiz, this is showbiz Bill (points at self). If you really want to make it showbiz, take your gear off.”
– Eamon Dunphy, laying into Cristiano Ronaldo
“Imagine what Ireland might have done if led and inspired by a man of vision and courage. This is not very hard to do: Remember Giants Stadium, when with the spur of an early goal, the players overcame miserable tactics to humble Italy? Gifted with one of the most formidable squads in Europe Charlton squandered it all. In football terms Charlton has failed and should resign.”
“Look at this, you’d be taken off in the Phoenix Park for this. There, get that, one for the seagulls. Even you could play better than that Bill. Look, he tried to commit suicide. I’m thinking of making a comeback” Speaking about Germany’s Carnsten Jancker during the 2002 World Cup Finals.
“This guy is an idiot!” About Sven Goren Eriksson
“Football’s answer to Andy Capp” Dunphy on Jack Charlton
“He’s one of the biggest whingers in world football… he’s a bloody eejit.”
Probably the nicest thing he’s ever said about Mick McCarthy.
Don’t forget the time he fired his biro across the studio and said he was ashamed to be irish after we drew 0-0 with eygpt in italia 90!!
Sky had better let me suscribe to RTE is all ive got to say on the matter as I have a new hero :-)
ANDY GRAY SHOULD BE NO.1, ALWAYS SLATING LIVERPOOL
The rest of the list is spot on but I am aghast that Steve Claridge is included, appalled even.
There’s enough morons involved in football media to fill a Top 30 list, never mind a Top 10. Mark Lawrenson’s got to be up there, his misery-guts schtick during the World Cup was unbelievable; Shearer’s become a joke; Gray and Tyler are a parody of themselves.
Also, anyone find Gareth Southgate’s insistence on using the first person plural when talking about England slightly grating? Wasn’t he meant to be the thinking man’s footballer? What happened there, then? Man’s an idiot…
Where’s Jimmy Hill?
Listening to Alan Green doing the Blackpool Man City match just now. Fucking hell I hate him. He’s my number one. Robbie Savage has been surprisingly quite good IMHO. I agree with everyone else on the list though.
should be townsend 1st hes the most fake git ive ever seen, look at that face hes pulling, the tw@, hes a drip of boring grey paint wheres clive tilslie he should be 2nd then alan hansen then she-ra then mark lawenceson i forgot that adrian git hes really annoying joint 1st
all of sky sports presenters are tw@s even the totty