Why John Terry is OK by F-Cap
1. Misses penalties
An essential attribute for a true England leader. How can you fully command respect if you are coolly slotting your spot-kick home when all those around you are missing theirs?
2. Parks in disabled spaces
Nothing quite indicates the urgency and sense of immediacy that is vital for an England skipper like plonking your Bentley in a disabled parking space.
3. Harasses match officials
How will England ever convince referees to reverse their decisions without a strong character to shout in their face and show them the error of their ways?
4. Turns up for drugs tests
OK, fair play, Fabio. You have got a point on this one.
5. Urinates on nightclub floors
One of the perks of the job. When you are England captain you don’t stoop to a trip to the toilet like commoners, the toilet comes to you.
6. Cries when he loses
Stiff upper lip, and all that. Keep your head high. Don’t let them see you’re hurting. Oh wait…