But who is the biggest of them all?
By “Dick” I mean this definition:
Vulgar A person, especially a man, regarded as mean or contemptible.
So this isn’t a list of heirs to the XXL throne of Dion Dublin, whose tripod-like manhood Sir Alex Ferguson once called “magnificent”. But hey, as long as the headline is misleading enough to bring in some extra “dirty traffic”, everyone’s a winner. Or should that be “wiener”?
Enough, on with the list…
Top ten biggest dicks in the Premier League
10. Sam Allardyce
Blackburn’s manager, aka “Big Sam”, qualifies for this list for several reasons:
1) Rampant ego. Thought he was good enough to manage England. Funny, that.
2) Encourages teams to play crap, long-ball football.
3) Sucks up to buddy Alex Ferguson, all the time. Example: his recent attack on Rafa Benitez.
4) He likes El-Hadji Diouf.
5) He’s a dick.
9. Jimmy Bullard
A surprise entry perhaps, but Bullard has gone from cult hero to dick in one easy transfer move. Fulham fans loved him, as Wigan and Peterborough fans did before that, but then he went and spoiled it all by leaving west London for Hull, and simply for more cash. Cue a karmic, season-ending injury. Jimmy, you disappointed me.
8. Marlon King
King has been bailed to appear at Southwark Crown Court on 14 May after being charged with attacking a woman in a London nightclub in December 2008. King, who is currently on loan at doomed Middlesbrough, was charged with sexual assault of