Top ten biggest dicks in the Premier League

But who is the biggest of them all?
what-a-dick-head.jpg By “Dick” I mean this definition:
Vulgar A person, especially a man, regarded as mean or contemptible.
So this isn’t a list of heirs to the XXL throne of Dion Dublin, whose tripod-like manhood Sir Alex Ferguson once called “magnificent”. But hey, as long as the headline is misleading enough to bring in some extra “dirty traffic”, everyone’s a winner. Or should that be “wiener”?
Enough, on with the list…


Top ten biggest dicks in the Premier League
sam_mourstache.jpg 10. Sam Allardyce
Blackburn’s manager, aka “Big Sam”, qualifies for this list for several reasons:
1) Rampant ego. Thought he was good enough to manage England. Funny, that.
2) Encourages teams to play crap, long-ball football.
3) Sucks up to buddy Alex Ferguson, all the time. Example: his recent attack on Rafa Benitez.
4) He likes El-Hadji Diouf.
5) He’s a dick.
RockyDennis.jpg 9. Jimmy Bullard
A surprise entry perhaps, but Bullard has gone from cult hero to dick in one easy transfer move. Fulham fans loved him, as Wigan and Peterborough fans did before that, but then he went and spoiled it all by leaving west London for Hull, and simply for more cash. Cue a karmic, season-ending injury. Jimmy, you disappointed me.
8. Marlon King
King has been bailed to appear at Southwark Crown Court on 14 May after being charged with attacking a woman in a London nightclub in December 2008. King, who is currently on loan at doomed Middlesbrough, was charged with sexual assault of

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3 Comments

  1. Billious says:

    You missed the biggest one of all who goes by by the name of Ollie Irish.

  2. Dinzinger says:

    No José fucking Mourinho?? One of the biggest dicks in the history of the
    world. Massive massive arsehole, sore loser, arrogant, sucks the joy out of players / football, works for Chelsea, annoying face, annoying voice, called his physio ‘filha da puta’ because she got more attention than him etc. etc.
    Godfather of dicks.

  3. Geraldo says:

    Since this article was written in 2009 it would appear that the number one d*ck has had the last laugh…

    Oh and I agree fully with Dinzinger – it’s not a d*cks compilation without Mourinho who has turned it into an art form.

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