Remember when curtain hair was all the rage? It was the Premier League of all hairstyles. Pies travels back in time to that very era (let’s call it the Nineties), to enjoy some of the very best curtains ever seen (and not an undercut in sight). Enjoy…

1. David Seaman
Look how attractive the curtains made you to women! This is Page 3 legend Jo Guest, in safe hands indeed.

2. Duncan Ferguson
Would you have the balls to tell him he looked like a twat?

3&4. Robbie Fowler and Steve McManaman
Cheeky Scouse monkeys.

5. Peter Fear
Remember the Fear? He played for Wimbledon and wasn’t very good. OK, that’s a bit harsh, he was half-decent but his curtains elevated him to greater heights, surely.

6. Paul Merson
A man at peace with his curtains.

7. Warren Barton
When I think of the curtain, I think Barton.

8. Luke Chadwick
Framing the face only a blind mother could love.

9. Eddie McGoldrick
Ah, the pungent smell of memory lane. This one’s for Gooners and Palace fans.

10&11. David Beckham and Gary Neville
It must be love. G-Nev looks like the drummer in a sub-Inspiral Carpets baggy indie band who no one fancied. Becks looks demi-godlike, as ever. Poor Neviller – always destined to be his best mate’s wingman.

12. Mikkel Beck
Majestic Danish curtains.

13. Mark Bosnich
He probably still has the same hairstyle. The Bos loved his curtains, tightly drawn though.

14. Jamie Redknapp
To be fair Richard, he’s literally got a pair of curtains on top of his head. Literally.

15. Ian Walker
A fine custodian for the curtain heritage.
[Photos: PA]
Who did we miss? Any classic curtains you cherish?

Posted in Feature, Flashback, Horror Hair, Top 10s & lists | 11 Comments »