By Chris Wright
Once again, the giant globe-spanning Illuminati conspiracy established to keep Liverpool from ‘having their year’ has come into effect and has demanded that the FA ban the club’s most effective player this season for the next eight games and fined a week’s wages just for openly and admittedly calling a black man a ‘negro’ a few times during a game of football.
Yesterday evening, shortly after Luis Suarez was made a pariah of by the powers that be, Liverpool released the following club statement:
“LFC considers racism in any form to be unacceptable – without compromise. It is our strong held belief, having gone over the facts of the case, that Luis Suarez did not commit any racist act.
“It is also our opinion that the accusation by [Evra] was not credible – certainly no more credible than his prior unfounded accusations. It is key to note that Patrice Evra himself in his written statement in this case said ‘I don’t think that Luis Suarez is