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Top 20 Brilliantly Cringeworthy Brendan Rodgers Quotes

By Chris Wright

Liverpool honcho Brendan Rodgers likes to talk in parables. He’s very much the Jesus of middle-management-style football coaching. Here are his greatest hits…

1. ”It was a perfect away performance, apart from the first 10 minutes.”

2. “I’ve always said that you can live without water for many days, but you can’t live for a second without hope.”

3. On Luis Suarez: “He is a real warrior of spirit.”

4. “My biggest mentor is myself because I’ve had to study, so that’s been my biggest influence.”

5. “I am not a power freak.” (We think the lady doth protest too much!)

6. “I started coaching for one reason and that was to make a difference for people, not just as footballers but as human beings.”

7. “When we have the football, everybody’s a player.”

8. “You train dogs, I like to educate players.”

9. ‘I think there’s three players who will let us down this year — the cause, the fight, everything – and I have written them down already in these three envelopes. Make sure you are not in one of the envelopes.”

10.”I use a quote with the players,“Per aspera ad astra”, which is Latin for ‘through adversity to the stars’.”

11. “When you’ve got the ball 65-70% of the time, it’s a football death for the other team. We’re not at that stage yet, but that’s what we will get to. It’s death by football. You just suck the life out of them.”

12. “Joe Allen is one of the most courageous players I’ve seen.

13. “I will leave no stone unturned in my quest – and that quest will be relentless.”

14. “I always say a squad is like a good meal – I’m not a great cook but a good meal takes a wee bit of time, but also to offer a good meal you need good ingredients.”

15. “All I’ll ever do is all I’ve ever done in any job, and that’s promise to fight for my life for the people of the city.”

16. On the ‘Being: Liverpool’ documentary: “It was something I didn’t watch, and thankfully it’s over.”

17. “I’ve always worked along the statistic, that if you can dominate the game with the ball you have a 79% chance of winning a game of football.”

18. “I believe a young player will run through a barbed wire fence for you. An older player looks for a hole in the fence.”

19. “The problem with being a manager is it’s like trying to build an aircraft while it is flying.”

20. “We play with 11 men, other teams play with 10 men and a goalkeeper.”

“Goddamn it I don’t half talk some cobblers”

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By Chris on February 21st, 2013 in Featured, Funnies, Liverpool, Newsnow, Top 10s & lists. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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34 Responses to “Top 20 Brilliantly Cringeworthy Brendan Rodgers Quotes”

  1. One Man Went To Mow says:

    Somebody thinks they’re Bill Shankly, they’re not.

  2. Sebastian says:

    Remind anyone of Michael Scott or David Brent? He even looked the part in that “Office style” documentary Being Liverpool

  3. Charlie says:

    A used car salesman of a manager.

  4. Steven says:

    Chris,
    Looking at your body of work on this site, you really do hate Liverpool, don’t you? Just about all of these quotes could come from any manager in the game, so this seems more to be about calling out out Liverpool.

  5. lozd says:

    Oh no, not similies. And metaphors, who needs ‘em? And as for latin! LATIN! The pretentious so-and-so.

    *sigh*

    This is a bloke who has to fill two press conferences a week, he’s bound to drop the odd clunker. For that, the consensus seems to be that he deserves ridculing.

  6. I actually quite like number 19.

  7. marajonna says:

    @Steven that’s the only reason I come here, the daily scouse bashing.

  8. Brendan Rodgers says:

    Ya you do continuously criticise Liverpool. If you don’t have an agenda against them, you are trying really hard to make it look like you do.

  9. yolo says:

    Typical liverpool fans…they are always the victims! They will always find a way to victimize themselves.
    But in reality, look at your previous managers…
    They are all, without fail, proper blokes.
    Just when i thought Dalglish’s quotes couldn’t get any more retarded, BR usurped him with some gusto.
    I never followed BR while at Swansea, but its almost as if all these men go mad after they take over the reins at liverpool lol.
    Don’t forget the ‘we can finish 2nd’ quote, also by no other than Mayor Quimby..errr… Brenan Rodgers lol

  10. Foran44 says:

    @James C. Taylor

    Me too

  11. Eeny says:

    There’s no agenda against Liverpool here on Pies, it’s just really easy to take the piss out of them when they have this massive dickhead at the reins, a healthy selection of detestable players, and an overwhelming sense of self-entitlement.

    • The Devine says:

      Looking at these comments make me laugh!!
      BR has always had the talent.. it takes a good eye to see that!!
      You Motherfuck*rs !!
      And So is Roberto Martinez!!

      David Moyes can do better but he’s no SAF and what MANU Fans Expects !!

  12. Marco says:

    @Steven Lighten up. I’m a Liverpool fan and I find these fucking hilarious!

  13. the69ersfc says:

    Brendan Rogers looks like an elephant that has had its trunk cut off.

  14. dEdGrimley says:

    I feel like its more of a matter of people not understanding these quotes than their actually being that over-the-top. Like the last one… He’s saying he gets the keeper more involved in the game, and has the keeper come out to play the ball at his feet. How is that cringe worthy?
    *Sigh* Anyway, just a bunch of haters, and haters who are gonna try to have a go at my comment, so fudge y’all.

    • bradley carmicheal says:

      Its not that we dont understant the “meaning” behind these quotes, its just that not bieng liverfool fans allows us the humility to see that these comments are pretencios dribble comin from a no good manager, who has won nothing in the game. And man utd, barcelona, a.c milan all play with “11″ men, liverpool were famous for the pass back during there hey day(25yearsago) for passing back to the goalkeeper and playin anti-football, so dont try to polish a turd

  15. Atticusfinch says:

    If you changed the name to Alex Ferguson or the special one, everyone would be saying how smart and funny these quote are. Remember Ferguson “The boy could of died” about van persie getting hit in the head with a football. DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB. you wont find Rodgers with quotes like that. And No. 18, 19 and 20 are all good quote. Would be printed in gold if fergie or jose said it.

  16. [...] from continuing his sworn duty to educate his players, nurse their key pass completion rates and fight for his life for the people of Liverpool, capeless crusader Brendan Rodgers has largely spent his summer repeatedly batting away questions [...]

  17. Jon says:

    Leave him alone, hes done far better than any of you fucking cunt heads

  18. me says:

    These are hilarious, but consider in context .. the first sentence taken on its own

    “I don’t see the job as stressful, I really don’t. Of course, there is pressure and expectation, but I wouldn’t necessarily equate that with stress. There are hard-working people in Liverpool and up and down the country who encounter real stress, by worrying about how to pay the bills and feed and clothe their children.

    “That’s stress and I don’t think it’s fair to tally what they go through with the problems of being a football manager.

    “What I do is a privilege and I enjoy my work. The reason I worked so hard all my life to get into a position such as this is because I want to be making big decisions and managing at the very highest level.

    “Of course, there are times when you have to switch off, but that’s part and parcel of managing yourself and I’ve never really found that a problem.”

  19. Nownow says:

    Chris, Chris,calm down… it’s rather rich of you to accuse anybody of thinking a bit too much of themselves when you’re desperately seeking attention by directing a hate-campaign against a perfectly decent manager.
    What’s wrong sweetie, didn’t mummy show you enough love when you were a child? Seriously, making fun of a guy because he knows a bit of latin makes you look like a lughead, more than anything else.
    Just because you don’t understand someone doesn’t make him stupid, it makes you stupid. Peace.

  20. [...] fair, the depiction of Rodgers is quite flattering and skilfully done. However, it’s the David Brent-esque widsom inscribed below that condemns the ink to true crap tat [...]

  21. Jas says:

    Kiss my butt. The whole sorry lot of yous!
    Brendan is a Legend in the making!

  22. Dylan says:

    Liverpool 5 Arsenal 1
    LFC 4 Everton 0

    That’s our last 2 home games… thrash top 4 rivals then destroy top of the league Arsenal? Slate Brendan all you want, obviously these “cringworthy” speeches work for the players!

    Even if they are, I’d rather he be cringeworthy off the pitch than be as utterly amateur as David Moyes…

    YNWA BR!

  23. Anonymous says:

    2nd in the table fuck off u Manc’s!

  24. sam says:

    MAN UNITED 0 – 3 LIVERPOOL Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!

  25. Reg king says:

    Bodgers is so full of it, I’m surprised his eyes haven’t turned brown. If it wasn’t for Suarez, teh bin-dippers would be fighting United for 7th place.

  26. Maffew says:

    1st in the table. By the way, who’s 7th and 9 points behind …..Everton? Moreass must be sweating between his crack…time to bend over..;p

  27. barry beanstain says:

    More Rodgers bs…

    ” in my studying and work across europe when i was young i always gravitated towards clubs that loved to compete and win”

    LOL!!

  28. […] You may be able to attribute the sides lack of involvement in Europe this season, giving them an energetic edge over their rivals.This season has had its ups and downs, from Suarez and Sturridge tearing through the prems best defences, Gerrard’s slip and some of Brendan Rodgers David Brent-esque quotes. […]

  29. bradley carmicheal says:

    Haha carnt stop laughin at
    How liverpool fucked up… Hey I wonder if brendan rodgers wrote steven gerrards name in a envelope at the begining of the season, coz he let dwn the cause, the fight, everything… Hahahahahahahahahgahahahahahahahahahahaha. P.s I typed in 20 haha’s for a reason, as iam a man utd fan lets c if u can twork it out.

  30. JFT39 says:

    Brendan Rodgers after the Chelsea game: “It’s easy to defend”

    Brendan Rodgers after conceding 3 goals in ten minutes against Crystal Palace in the next match: “……”

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