Jamie Carragher To Pundit For Sky Sports Next Season – To Celebrate, Here’s The Best Of Our Carra Butchering The English Language

Chris Wright

30th, April 2013

13 Comments

By Chris Wright

carra-nev

Having made his decision to retire at the end of the current season, Liverpool stalwart Jamie Carragher has sorted himself out with a nice little earner for life after football – landing a job on Sky Sports’ punditry panel (alongside Red Nev, no less – what could possibly go wrong?) for the 2013/14 season.

Carragher himself called it “the best move possible”, while Barney Francis, managing director of Sky Sports, said: “Jamie has everything you want in an expert analyst; opinions, experience and incredible knowledge. He’s hugely respected throughout the game and I know his immense insight on today’s players, teams and tactics will make our football coverage even better.”

Fair enough, but do you know what else Carra has at his disposal, Barney? An absolutely impenetrable, almost painfully Scouse accent…

Apparently they actually use the first video to test foreigners on their grasp of regional English dialects, presumably on an “if you can understand this then you can understand anything” basis.

One thing’s for sure, 2013/14 is definitely going to be the year of subtitle.

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13 Comments

  1. C says:

    I love carra, but this is going to be a trainwreck.
    Im sure he’s got some amazing insights etc, but nobody will understand him…

  2. Si says:

    This has to be a wind up, surely?

  3. Luke says:

    Yeah! Let’s have everyone speak the same generic ‘Estuary English’, it doesn’t matter where someone comes from; some people just speak their own language wrong!

  4. Si says:

    @Luke – whoosh.

  5. Lady B says:

    Hahah! I’m the only person in my household who can understand a word Carra says, and even then I sometimes battle. Scouse generally isn’t well understood by South Africans in general :P

  6. tipo 00 says:

    oh that lovely man carragher: “Carragher’s biography, Carra, was released, but controversial excerpts were leaked to the press beforehand. In one instance, Carragher claimed that his close friends were looking to assault Australian defender Lucas Neill. He also claimed that the incident was averted only because Neill was in the company of David Thompson, one of Carragher’s former team-mates, who Carragher did not want to “become a witness to an assault.” Carragher sent a text to Thompson, “telling him Neill should give him a hug of thanks”, suggesting had Thompson not been there, Neill would have faced an assault”. classy stuff.

  7. tipo 00 says:

    a true gentleman: “Carragher also claimed that he had deliberately set out to injure another player in a practice session, former Liverpool team-mate Rigobert Song, because of the latter’s constant mockery of his defending. “Song walked on to the training pitch with a smile on his face. He was limping off it with a grimace an hour later. The first chance I got, I did him. Never have I hunted down a 50–50 tackle with greater appetite. ‘You’re not fucking laughing now, are you, you soft cunt?’ I said as he hobbled away.” that’s just from wikipedia, i can’t be bothered to find the others.

  8. sleeba says:

    Carragher + Neville = Saint and (Good)Greavsie

  9. Anonymous says:

    Would have much preferred it if he’d gone to ITV. Slap him in Adrian Chiles’s position and let’s get some real football talk going.

  10. Milkchew says:

    @ tipo 00

    Whoopie s**t. Roy Keane done pretty much the same thing, as did Graeme Souness, Alan Shearer and many many others. Hes from Bootle, his friends are from Bootle, its not exactly Fluffy Pony Raindbow land.

  11. TravisKOP says:

    @Anon: fuck ya i was thinking the same thing, ITV needs a makeover sharpish

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