Liverpool Fans Trapped In A Grotesque Web Of Self-Delusion

Ollie Irish

21st, July 2010


By Alex Netherton

North Korea. Hundreds of executions a year. China’s one true friend. Sitting on The Bomb. No free discourse. Starvation rations. I considered moving there a couple of years ago, because Liverpool almost won the league. To my mind, it was the one place I could bear to live in because it would be the only place I wouldn’t hear about the grotesque celebrations if they’d manage to win. If they’d won, they’d have demanded even Jan Molby get an OBE in recognition.

Happily, they didn’t win, and I still enjoy the dubious benefits of Britain. The only thing more enjoyable than their defeat in the league has been the sustained, joyless meltdown on Merseyside. I don’t know if I enjoy the repetitive delusion or the intermittently crushing realisation of hopelessness of the fans more. Luckily, I reckon there’s a fair few more years of this to enjoy. What’s Scouse for schadenfreude?

After initially clinging to fatuous justifications why Liverpool’s Takeover was different, the fans have had to come to terms with the fact that Liverpool’s Debt counts for exactly the same as every other club’s. That debt stands at £351.4m.  Their loss last financial year: £54.9m.

The easiest way to increase revenue would be to put ticket prices up and look forward to increased sponsorship deals. The northwest, however, is going to be one of the areas hardest hit by depression – prices can only go up so far before they become unaffordable. Same for sponsorship deals. In a recession, marketing budgets are one of the first things to slump.

On the plus side, Champions League revenue is always expanding. It’s UEFA’s heartbeat. Less luckily for the Reds, Liverpool are in the Europa League, truly the mid-table mediocrity (the Liverpool?) of competitions. Even if they win the pot, the pittance they’ll get for it means they won’t even be able to summon up the proverbial piss for it.

Of course, given that their best players, Fernando Torres and Javier Mascherano, are committed to doing one, they might raise a bit of cash that way. They’ve already started anticipating spending what they’ll be able to afford after that, so they’ve bought Joe Cole – a ‘cockney twat’ according to some Liverpool fans. On a free.

Some positive news is that Fernando Torres, a man who looks like an angry Alan Partridge, will probably stay for another year. If you can see past his inability to impose himself on any accomplished side and his dodgy fitness record, he’s an occasionally beguiling player. To Liverpool’s benefit, if you look at his time at Anfield and Atletico Madrid and compare it to his World Cup performances, he only seems comfortable as the big fish in a rapidly shrinking pond, garnering praise for self-defeating loyalty. A lot like Liverpool fans, I suppose.

Conversely, they’re clearly going to have to put up with Steven Gerrard for life. Standing there, looking frustrated, hands on hips and head freakishly furrowed in an attempt to let everyone know that it’s Not His Fault.

For fifty games a season Gerrard egotistically holds back superior players and bullies his bosses into subservience. He realises, as do Real Madrid and Jose Mourinho, that he’s shot his bolt. It’s a tragedy for club and country that we never took advantage of his finest displays on a football pitch being at right-back, where a lack of brains and a will to run are the perfect qualities. Better yet, it would have meant we wouldn’t have another hapless Liverpool player, Glen Johnson, anywhere near an England shirt. Whisper it, because you’ll cry tears of happiness if you hear it too loud, but it would even mean we could see Jamie Carragher stewing, relegated to the bench.

This would all be supremely enjoyable – better than a Vernon Kay obituary – if it wasn’t for one thing. I’m a Manchester United supporter. I get to look at Liverpool and think, ‘That’ll be us in two years.’

Posted in Featured, Liverpool, Opinion

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  1. Meji says:

    First. I love Ollie because he despises Liverpool more than I do. Top man.

  2. Ollie says:

    I didn’t write this, Meji.

  3. Jack says:

    dont really see the point for this needless anti-lverpool stuff ollie? I hate liverpool as much the next person but this seems a bit pointless to be honest mate..

  4. clasher says:

    Not Ollie wrote that one, Ollie’s Spurs fan as I recall.

    But this one is great, really.

  5. Jack says:

    that makes more sense… sorry ollie!

  6. Meji says:

    Well now I look like a prick. Either way you posted it on your site so let’s just say you did. Good stuff, Ollie.

  7. Ollie says:

    @ Jack: 1. I didn’t write it. 2. Pies is not an anti-Liverpool site, at all. Check the Liverpool category and you’ll see proof of that. I hate one-eyed fandom, and I think Alex has made some very valid points here.

  8. Ty says:

    I love it, and i’m a gooner!

  9. gareth says:

    More anti-liverpool drivel from another moron. Prior to last season Liverpool lost 6 games out of 76 spread over two season. One bad season and the “I told you so brigade” are out in force. Grow up.

  10. redrich says:

    I’m not sure I understand the point of this article, nor do I understand the value of it. Slagging off LFC is an easy thing to do right now and you dont have to be a particularly well acquainted with the club or the game to be able to do it at the moment as there are plenty of VALID points that could be made, but calling in to question the ability of Torres Gerrard and Carragher is just ridiculous, Torres can’t impose himself?? I find that astonishing coming from a United fan just ask Nemanja Vidic if Torres imposes himself against top sides…. or are you not counting Man United as one?? Furthermore in the last 3 years Torres has scored against Chelsea, Arsenal, Everton, Reeal Madrid, Benfica and Inter Milan to name a few. Do your homework as clarly you don’t watchh football. Also, Gerrard at right back??? When?? against who?? He hhas single handedly destryed team from midfield for ten years you total berk!! Go and watch some football, then write about what you have actually SEEN HAPPEN!!

  11. dave says:

    Love reading stuff like this from mancs, absolutely love it. Proves were still getting up their snotty little noses even though were absolutely sh!te. That number 5 really does grate on you lot doesnt it. As I said, love it!

  12. Jason says:

    This bit made me laugh about Torres “If you can see past his inability to impose himself on any accomplished side”
    What exactly does that mean? He has scored against every team in the top 10 of the premier league, Real Madrid, Inter Milan (away)European Championship winning goal for Spain etc… Fair enough he gets injured but come on don’t talk crap…

  13. red4life says:

    So just how many Billy Goats do you get sitting under your bridge?

  14. Colie says:

    You could write something similar for every club in the top flight, so valid points…..I don’t think so…..every club is in the same situation… way or the other…Utd have a midfield of pensioners or crocks….and a defence that either wants out or else are crocks….Chelsea a team of pensioners also with signs of Drogba being lured to City, City under the guidance of Mancini, He needs to deal with pressure, any cock ups and gone by Chrimbo……so delusional….we could all be delusional by the turn of the new year…..!!! Simple as.

  15. Noel says:

    Ive got the feeling Roony may be going the way of Torres lol

  16. Holleran says:

    err.. I suppose we deserve that. I do cringe at the sort of response to anything slightly negative pertaining to Liverpool by many Liverpool fans. Unfortunately it seems that it’s always the ones that have the most myopic, delusional and down right stupid opinions that shout loudest – a bit like Talksport or 606.. I’m a Liverpool supporter, I love pies and I’m happy to read an article taking the piss out of Liverpool as I know that it’s the same for all other teams. So I apologise for my fellow supporters and I hope people realise that we’re not all filled with the same paranoid delusion.

  17. Noel says:

    *Rooney HAHAHA

  18. ollieisawanker says:

    Get a like Alex you dickhead

  19. dave smith says:

    What a dope what is he a dour manc or as somebody said a spurs fan no wonder he keeps having a go at pool

  20. Richard says:

    This would be a pointless and childish article if it wasn’t for the last sentence which puts everything into perspective. Liverpool and Man U are the two greatest names in the history of British football and whilst we may hate each other with a healthy dose of bitterness that could only come from the kind of history that we have as neighboring cities, the truth is that we are currently united in the turmoil that has been brought upon us by greedy american speculators who know nothing about our game, our history, the passion of the fans and the importance of allowing such big clubs to remain in the upper echelons of the sport where they can carry out their roles as time-served sentinels of English football.

    Yes, it’s open season on Liverpool at the moment, because it’s always so easy to kick a man when he’s down, but Liverpool will survive and they’ll be stronger for it. They will also know exactly what Man U are going through when the same fate hits them in the near future.

    Good banterish article Alex, well written, but most importantly bearing a dark and all too true message.

    Liverpool Fan.

  21. MG says:

    whats with the liverpool animosity? im a liverpool fan and i can sure you im not deluded, i realise how difficult its going to be to reach the successes of old with free spending city, ever improving spurs, and of course chelsea, united (but as you point out are united moving forwards anymore?) and arsenal. please excuse me for being happy that one of the greatest english players of his generation Gerrard is staying (a player who fergie himself said he would have loved to have) and that torres – a player who many of my united friends say they would love to have – is also looking likely to stay. and that cole, a player any premiership club would like to have has joined liverpool (whether it was for the money or not is irrelevant). so please excuse a liverpool fans right to be happy, you see we havent had much of that in recent times and that my team is looking stronger this season is cause for rejoice. we probably wont win the league for a while, but as long as the squad improves, ill stay ‘deluded’ that one day the glory days might return, is that ok with you?

  22. rft says:


  23. Peter says:

    “Alex has made some very valid points here”??

    One season outside the top four does not make a side mid-table. Who are the “superior players” that Gerrard holds back? Torres has an “inability to impose himself on any accomplished side”. So, we’ll just ignore his performances and goals agains Vidic and Ferdinand then, why let the truth ruin a good story?

    I’m for lively football banter, but this is utter crap.

  24. PhilandoTorres says:

    Opinions are like arseholes. And so is Alex Netherton. Zing!

  25. james says:

    fuck off you twat, this site is ridiculous

  26. Paul says:

    I am a Liverpool fan and i agree that Alex made some good points i just found them to be a bit too venomous rather than a well constructed argument, I understand totally that fans of other clubs dislike us nay even hate but surely banter can be mixed with a well reasoned argument?

    I like and if Im honest laugh at some of the “Anti Liverpool” posts and find the site as a whole very entertaining especially when Ollie gets cracking!

    Finally as Alex said (NOT OLLIE!!) “I’m a Manchester United supporter. I get to look at Liverpool and think, ‘That’ll be us in two years.” He’s dead right that it is always funny till it happens to us, and i am one of those optimistic Reds that thinks bar the debt (granted its a whopping big Bar!) we don’t have an awful lot wrong at the club and I for one have started enjoying the summer a whole lot more since Roy took over and started to move us ever so slightly forward after a few years of treading water.

    I would sell Torres if the price is right and of course if Roy gets the lions share to re invest as I cant abide a lack of commitment to a club that I would have killed to play for, maybe he is just enjoying his Hols but it wouldn’t have hurt him to send a quick re assuring message would it?

    As for Masch the only fear I have for him is if he has no takers after prostituting himself for the last year only to get no real takers, the sooner he is sold and we move on the better.

    Sorry for the very long reply I was bored in work! :-)

  27. Anonymous says:

    you’re a cunt

  28. Gareth Jones says:

    I dont understand all the hatred towards Liverpool FC. We dont go around proclaiming we are the best. The only time we stand up for ourselves is when Cocky Wanker UTD fans go on about how they are the best club in the world and whatever.

    Football was not invented by Sky Sports, The Premier League or Manchester Utd for that fact…..

    History is History, and for that we are proud…. Which team would not be?

    You better hope we do not get it right, because the day we do finally get it right will be a day when things in English football might change again for a long time.

    Liverpool FC still has massive following not only across this country but the world (only 2nd to Utd) and if we do get new ownership, new stadium and a decent transfer kitty, Alex Ferguson WILL start to worry, I have no doubt about that.

  29. Dec says:

    You’re not really a proper Man U supporter though are you? Wasn’t it in fact United that won the league the season before last, yet all you were worried about was Liverpool not winning it? Some fan you are, a bit like most united fans actually. You have more songs about Liverpool than you do your own team. I agree with your concerns regarding where Utd will end up, the only reason chelsea won the league last season was because Liverpool nose dived and United did not strengthen after selling Ronaldo, in fact they are now more a one man team than Liverpool. I’d imagine that if Rooney were out for half a season Utd might not even finish in the top four.

  30. kevin says:

    Ho ho, almost had me going for the bait. But the “inability to impose himself on any accomplished side” bit let you down, but congrats on a fine attempted windup. Nemanja Vidic and Rio’s therapy sessions after every Liverpool game are well known.

  31. Ste says:

    Strange how someone who ‘hates’ Liverpool spend so much time on a lengthy article actually writing about…er….Liverpool!.
    Isnt it the truth that this ‘Alex Netherton’ is a sad bitter and twisted gimp and the only thing in his pathetic life is his unhealthy obsession with all things Liverpool take that away and the grim realisation that his life is worthless will sink in.

    Fill your boots Alex, yer Whopper.

  32. Vin says:

    Ha Ha! Absolutely pathetic. Why on earth does someone who hates Liverpool so much, be so Consciousness, informative and knowledgeable about all matters concerning Liverpool. Do I sense a tinge of envy that even without european cup football we still have pulling power. This article is going to come back and haunt you, Sycophant.


  33. Mattylad says:

    I’m always very suspicious about ‘fans’ of other teams that are so obsessed by hatred of another side and it’s fans that it borders on being a psychological problem. A bit like people that complain TOO much that they do not approve of same sex partnerships.

    And as for having a pop at players well, sad!

    In these modern times it’s always better to worry about your own teams debt than anyone elses.

    As for meltdown….. well 12 (or was it 13, as many as Chelsea anyway) players at the world cup suggests otherwise. Also, we only let in 7 more goals in the league than the previous year… the problem was scoring goals. We’ll see what happens with Utd and their dodgy left back, wantaway centre back, soon to go Rooney and average kids lol, enjoy.

  34. manu says:

    Hmmm I am sad for you the writer. Very sad because you do not know how to respect people. You must have a real hard, forgettable childhood. Where you battered and buttered repeatedly by someone … so much so that you became like this? Please do not be an insult to Man Utd fans like me. Its people like you who bring unnecessary conflict and riots to soccer. Don’t your stupid brain thought of possible reaction to such articles? Are they necessary. Go and see a psycho and leave soccer to the true soccer fans. We do not need people like you in soccer arena. Sad, really sad.

  35. daboy says:

    You dont know much about anything if Torres is so bad why is he worth so much to all the top clubs who would gladly have him your a twat.

  36. Tom says:

    You are obviously unaware that Liverpool signed the largest sponsorship deal of any club ever when they signed with Standard Chartered. Other lesser deals with more minor sponsors/partners are likely to be improved upon as well.

    We are most likely nearing the end of this troubled period we have been in as the club will soon be sold. Man U’s troubles are only just beginning. Their debt and the rate that it is increasing is stratospheric in comparison to Liverpool who have decreased their borrowings by about £100m since the last set of accounts. In contrast the PIK loans that the Glazers have attract somewhere between 12% and 16.25%. These loans were initially £138m, currently stand at £230m and are anticipated to be in the region of £600m by 2017. This is without taking into account any loans owed to the banks (currently £500m) which must be repaid before any PIK loans are repaid. And you think we are in difficulties? Your situation is clearly unsustainable whereas ours is manageable and this may not even be an issue after we are sold.

    So deluded, no definitely not. Look in the mirror mate.

  37. cake says:

    What a pathetic piece of writing:

    “given that their best players, Fernando Torres and Javier Mascherano, are committed to doing one”

    “Some positive news is that Fernando Torres, a man who looks like an angry Alan Partridge, will probably stay for another year.”

    The internet gave license to useless fools writing utter bollox.

  38. Graeme says:

    More Liverpool stuff to generate some hits and get a bit of a barney going. They know there are lots of us about. Authors are generally angry, green, jealous, type.

  39. alex's dad says:

    I touch Alex

  40. alex says:

    To everyone saying I hate Liverpool more than I support United.

    Yep, true. I fucking hate them.

  41. Juan says:

    Lol what a funny article.

    Still though its easy to laugh at stuff like this when your the most successful team in Britain ever. Ahhhh 18 league titles 5 european cups……bliss

  42. Dano says:

    haha you bitter twat, it will be ManUre next season. Your only writing this article now because your getting worried, Giggs, Scholes, Van Der Saar, Neville all bloody Pensioners, Hargreeves, Owen, Flopatov, Rio all crocks, You slag off Torres and his displays in the World Cup and Rooney was worse, at least Torres has a World Cup winners Medal, How many United players were at the world cup??? Less than Liverpool thats for sure. With Gerrard, Cole, Torres, Mascherano, Reina, Johnson, Maxi Rodriguez, Aqualani, Kuyt, Jovanovic, Agger, Skrtel, Carragher, Wilson, Kelly, Babel, Lucas, and a world class left back to come or someone fairly decent I know you are concered haha

  43. PhilandoTorres says:

    “To everyone saying I hate Liverpool more than I support United.

    Yep, true. I fucking hate them.”

    Then, plainly, you are no sort of football supporter. I love Liverpool infinitely more than I hate your shower.

  44. Royal Red says:

    Q: What would you call a pregnant Man United fan?
    A: A dope carrier.

    Alex Netherton, I laughed so much at this article because it shows us scousers that even after so many years of Man Ure domination (God, that hurt to say) you still are not top of the domestic or european pile and that really gets to you lot so much. Go and bury yer head lad and concentrate on your own ‘declining’ team.

  45. Jono659 says:

    I am a red, have been since the old second division. I didn’t take offence at the article because the author was just having a fun pop, Jesus, we do exactly the same. Simple answer, don’t feed the trolls lol. I liked the touch of sincerity in the last paragraph, took this post from a sad Manc rant to a well crafted humourous piece.

  46. Chris says:

    Ollie i love what you do on this site and i sigh when i see some of the articles you take time to write followed up in the comments section by people with well reasoned arguments such as “cunt”. However surely a well written football article based on liverpool at the moment should look not just at the blatantly obvious problems that they are facing, but maybe also the positives in store with new boss Woy, offloading a couple of their dross left backs and not qualifying for the champions league could force them to concentrate on the league which it seems like a lot of liverpool fans have wanted for a while. Or could explore the idea he alludes to at the end that many clubs will end up in this “meltdown” due to the current nature of football ownership in england and the massive loans needed for so many clubs.
    I am not a liverpool fan boy moaning as soon as i see an anti-liverpool article; i’m a proud geordie. And i’m aware you didnt write the article but it is your site, and i just fail to see the point behind this piece, it certainly seems to be thinly veiled mockery of liverpool rather than any sort of analysis.

  47. Dude says:

    I wonder if the ‘author’ wrote this article because he just knew he’d get lots of hits.
    Its obvious he doesn’t know anything about football so I won’t try and reiterate the already good points from my Red Brothers.
    The irony of it all is that the ‘author’s’ surname is a suburb of Liverpool.
    You team I suppose you support was founded by a bloke from Liverpool.
    And the man who started your success in the 50’s was a former Liverpool captain!!
    Lets face it, you’d be nowhere without Liverpool.
    What’s your address so I can send you a deepest sympathy card when we win the league?!!

  48. RedXIII says:

    I suppose I’m defeating the object by posting here, as Alex Netherton is clearly seeking to provoke responses from Liverpool fans but really… Is this truly your honest opinion?! What a joker card you are! For any aspiring ‘amateur’ journalist (I use the word ‘journalist’ loosely) your bedrock should be objectivtivity, not subjective writing. That is, of course, If you wish for anyone to take you seriously or even feel slightly swayed by your writing – perhaps you should start there.

    Otherwise, carry on with your shameful and pitiful prodding at a club that always hopes for the best in any scenario. I take heart that the pendulum of hope is with Liverpool players and fans right now. From your last paragraph, you seem to be fearful for your own future therefore finger pointing is not a habit to cling to.

  49. freak says:

    I hate Liverpool too, the whole point of this article was to prove the self-delusion that ‘Pool fans have and the above comments have proved it. Liverpool fans are the most humourless, joyless fans I’ve ever come across, any criticism and they act like victims, Also, they keep going on about their history but forget the fact they haven’t won the league in 20 years! Why haven’t they got a song about that??? NOT A UNITED SUPPORTER JUST SOMEONE WHO IS SICK OF HEARING HOW FUCKING FANTASTIC LIVERPOOL ARE EVEN THOUGH THEY WEREN’T RELEVANT IN MY LIFETIME. FUCK OFF.

  50. Purple Aki says:

    Anybody who thinks Javier Mascherano was one of Liverpool’s best players did not see a single Liverpool game last year. Not sure of the point about this article to be honest, and i’m an Everton fan.

  51. Joe says:

    Worry about your own club lad.

    At least we’re still the big attraction in our city, footballing wise – Unlike yourselves.

    What other team wins the biggest prize in football, then has its PLAYERS singing about another team, and not only that, calling us MURDERERS

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Fucking manc cunts.

  52. Sir bob says:

    Will be good when Manure have no whiskey nose in charge and their debt of 750million is recalled.

    What goes around always comes around!

  53. mark says:

    Well that was pretty dull. It’s a shame actually, because you do seem to have the ability to string two sentences together, it’s just a pity that it’s wasted on petty, child-like attempts at point-scoring like this.

    Dignity 1 Manchester United 0

  54. Mr Kipling says:


  55. Schabe says:

    A poorly constructed argument.

    I understand this is a blog and not an article, but it feels like it has been written rather blindly.

    It would seem your trying to use humour here. You haven’t quite acheieved it, a hatred is far too obvious and the fact you confirm that you are a Manchester United fan at the end fails to suprise me.

    Also try not to contradict yourself – you flippantly comment that Torres seems desperate to leave then immediately note that he will probably stay. Either make your point clear or don’t write it at all.

  56. Ben says:

    Haha you really make me laugh. A couple of days of positive Liverpool news and another no life mug has to come out with some negative crap (regardless of the last statement regarding the future of manu)! At the end of the day what you say isn’t worth two pieces of shit, so it doesn’t get to me nor do I have any delusions aboput the coming season etc just becasue I defend Liverpool when crap is written (take note Holleran). Seems like the fans of manure, chavs, spurs, bitters etc have nothing better to do than talk about Liverpool and it all comes down to two things; jealousy and fear!
    And whoever says your piece was well written is as moronic as you are!Your syntax is extremely poor and I for one would be embarrassed about putting this out into the public domain. Also how can you have one paragraph saying Torres is off followed by another saying it looks like he’s staying for another year! Duh! Maybe it took you so long to string this nonsense together that the news on Torres changed, but you just kept on writing regardless of continuity?

    I can understand you talking of brainless right backs having had probably the thickest of the lot in Gary Neville at your club for years!

    As for the statement ‘garnering praise for self-defeating loyalty’, are you saying then that the loyalty of Liverpool fans is misplaced when the team are not doing well? This would suggest then that if your team were doing badly as well then you would decrease the amount of support you give along with your association with them? In that case you are a fickle fair weather supporter and not worthy of writing football articles! That for me says it all and your opinion is completely invalid. Cheers.

  57. Zahid says:

    LOL what a Tit, this is why Manure Utd fans are so hated and the club. If Joe had signed for Utd they would have loved it, when he was linked to utd a month back i read all the utd fans opinions saying hed be a great addition replacing Paul Scholes (no1 can replace Paul Scholes for utd). Even though i wish Utd do suffer from the debt they owe in the next few years and have it as we have suffered , i don’t think they will, well not as bad its too big of a club and the brand of Manchester Utd is too big to crumble. YNWA

  58. nico says:

    All you un-educated non season ticket holdersarm chair idiots need to learn football before you comment period

  59. Eamonn says:

    This is so ridiculous it’s funny. I love the description that Torres has an inability to impose himself on any accomplished side. Having destroyed Vidic to the point where he’s looking to leave the country puts lie to that assertion. Keep it going Alex, entertaining if nothing else.

  60. I love articles like this, i.e. written deliberately to wind people up, must be nice being a doley n having loads of time to… well… shat on a page and publish it. Well done for trying and all that, but I don’t think it will matter how much u moan, rant and/or cry. Your best chance in years to finally overtake Liverpool’s 18 titles and 5 Euros went out the window with Ronaldo, simples. Lets just hope the oldies don’t keel over for another year ay, because it would be awful to see Sir Alex blamed for your (meant collectively) disillusion. Seriously, what do YOU expect to bring to the table this year?

  61. scouse says:

    We don’t eat pies, just titles ! 18 and 5… eat that!

  62. Havant Red says:

    What an utter load of Manure a moronic piece of drivel written by what sounds like a semi literate (at best) lazy blogger (need to check those facts properly im afraid)
    No one who supports Liverpool is under any illusions as to the situation at our club. Liverpool are in a transitional state and new owners will be found and not at the price the Americans want it will be ultimately decided by the Bank (RBS-Wachovia).

    And your statement “That’ll be us in two years” may be a bit ambitious more like six months, prized assets at Utd are already being measured up by the glazers to finance there next round of “credit card loan payments”

  63. Brendan says:

    Haha Eamonn I was thinking the same thing.

  64. red says:

    you proof why Man Utd is so hated … arrogance and arrogance and arrogance. I want to be a human being first. Thank God my parents did not grow me up to be such a character. So cheap.

  65. yoza says:

    1 word – DICKHEAD

  66. Phil says:

    You are in even more debt than Liverpool and you couldn’t even afford to offer Cole a deal. You sold Ronaldo, lost Tevez and havn’t replaced them. Your team is aging and it won’t be too long until Ferguson goes.
    At least our owners have realised they have to sell and the selling of the club has been taken out of their hands so they can’t veto any realistic offers. Hodgson seems to be impressing the players and this time next year the club could be owned by multi billionaires. In a couple of years it could be rosy times for Liverpool again and you will still be owned by your dodgy Americans struggling to sign mediocre players.

  67. nick says:

    Ha! what a positive feedback from Liverpool supporters and non Liverpool supporters alike, I hope you feel like a complete fool now, cause this article is just plain ridiculous, don’t quit your day job tool

  68. swandive says:

    I rather enjoyed that piece well done!

  69. mizman says:

    abosloutley brilliant. best thing ive read in ages. and all true

  70. AJ says:


  71. AJ says:


  72. Steve Gannon says:

    Did not read this article, just sort of skimmed it and then read a few of the comments about it. If there is one thing about Scousers that is completely true – it is that we are down-to-earth with our senses firmly fixed in reality. That does not stop us from hoping and standing firm behind our team. “You’ll Never Walk Alone” epitomises our philosophy and that is what makes Liverpool FC such a special club. Other clubs can only look on in envy at the loyalty, passion and commitment of our fans. It is something United can NEVER hope to achieve. They might be the darlings of the media but when “old purple nose” retires or “pops his clogs” United will be in deep do-do trying to emulate his success. In fact, I am convinced they will fade into a mediocre mid-table team. Enjoy your success now because it won’t last my friend.

  73. C says:

    Some random Joe gets to write an article about the typical Man Utd vs Liverpool bs, and the comment wars ensues. Great way to boost the hits for the site!

  74. Anonymous says:

    Hilarious. Nothing better than indignant Scousers.

  75. ste says:

    Jealousy is a terrible thing.

  76. annoni says:

    this article is poorly written

  77. Doc says:

    Go fuck yaself.

  78. Doc says:

    Silly twat, Jealousy is an unpleasant cologn.

  79. D says:

    I love this site. Don’t spoil it with shit like this.

  80. Oh hai says:

    This is who Ollie has got writing for him? Love it! This site can not be revived, give it up.

  81. Liverpool says:

    since when was this an anti liverpool blog?

  82. yank says:


  83. Jason says:

    Alex Netherton hahaha go on and take a seat boy, your mank bullshit is more amusing than annoying or ridiculous. Gerrard at left back haha bless you silly silly little man!

  84. drogbaeatsbindippers says:

    Harsh…but undeniably true. A team that leeches off it’s ‘history’ whilst other teams are busy making it. Liverpool are the new Leeds, give it 3 years and they’ll be getting humped by Bury pre season.

  85. Sir bob says:


  86. Danny says:

    Surely you’ve missed half the point of this article?

    Yes it does comment on liverpools troubles at the moment but surely it is equally describing the lack of fortune that is headed for man utd.

    If you think this is a poor article directed at just Liverpool, then in fact you are the idiot with poor ability to analyse a a good piece of thought provoking journalism!

  87. David Macbeth says:

    It is a matter of when, not if, Manchester United will no longer be the biggest club in Manchester, let alone the North West.

  88. Danny says:

    @David Macbeth.

    TO me thats exactly what this article is about. Shame most people are so short sighted when it comes to reading. GCSE’s were really hard though. poor lads.

  89. Delboy Dublin says:

    “Some positive news is that Fernando Torres, a man who looks like an angry Alan Partridge, will probably stay for another year. If you can see past his inability to impose himself on any accomplished side”… hmmm, I’m thinking Nemanja Vidic might beg to differ, wetbrain!

  90. jamage says:

    honestly, this is a bit of a pointless article isnt it? For a football blog to attack a single club at its low point is beyond sad. The fact your a manc fan also shows that you are bitter enough to come out and just say negative things about a club. Who hired this guy? So many holes in your article too (torres not being good against big teams, perhaps watch his games against man u?)Really disappointing this even got considered to go up. This is a fantastic blog site, hopefully this person wont get to blog again if he is just going to slam a club for no apparent reason without any comedic relief either..

  91. alex says:


    I’ll be up again next week if I’ve got time, I imagine.

  92. max says:

    glad to see scousers are transcending their reputation of touchy and deluded fuckwits. the man wrote something you disagree with – why not present a counter argument rather than insulting him?
    and iv always said gerrard was massively over-rated. obviously a fine player but nowhere near as good as the media would have you believe.

  93. Joe says:

    As a Fulham fan, I’m not unduly bothered about who wins the league as long as it’s not Chelsea. However, I have to say I infitely prefer Liverpool’s genuinely passionate fans to the cold, smug and opportunistic folk you’ll generally find supporting Man U-with the author here being a prime example. Let’s hope Uncle Woy can continue his fantastic form.



  95. Tim says:

    What is the guy on, he must have spent ages writing this perverse view, I didn’t waste my time and gave up reading the tosh after about 10 lines, no marks for adding to the debate

  96. QueerAsFuß says:

    As as Schalke04 fan forever and always I really feel for a side with too much debt and too many almost-titles. Have they tried making friends with the Russkaya mafiya?
    Kind of sort of worked for us.

    You have to have the self-delusion when you love a loser side though. And alcoholism. Or an unlimited refill prescription for prozac.
    You have to do something to make yourself believe this will be the year.(just because it wasn’t the last, you know, 52 years that doesn’t mean anything)

    I’ve kind of just adopted the ‘rejoice in the beautiful game’ philosophy of “love and let loose”. ;) Enjoy the ride even if it leads straight to FAILtown.

    That said in the EPL I’m an Arsenal fan and we’ve taken up residence permanently in the 3rd/4th place spot. I can watch the first game of the season and the last and basically get the gist. :P

  97. Anonymous says:

    Sorry mate; i’ll forward you my reply to your home address. Your a Manure fan so which part of Surrey am i sending it to?

  98. DTH says:

    Ah, screw “objectivity”. I’m a Liverpool supporter, and the fact that you have the bald-faced bottle to point out so forensically so much of what ails the club – without any hint of compassion, but so what?- is like the first days of rehab. I may thank you in time. Ah, but perhaps not….

  99. john blaze says:

    Man Poo are not gonna be top four this year. You can mark my words. They are scum!

  100. Anonymous says:

    pretty dickless article….

  101. megaman789 says:

    Alex, You are such a short-sighted dick!!!!

  102. Who's laughing now? says:

    Better buy that ticket to North Korea! Ha Ha HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  103. Anonymous says:

    What is this drivel?

    Some asspained Manure supporter expressing his psychotic hatred for Liverpool? Never seen that before!

  104. […] Liverpool Fans Trapped In A Grotesque Web Of Self-Delusion […]

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