Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One Before: Mario Balotelli Walks Into A University Library…

Chris Wright

18th, January 2012


By Chris Wright

After reportedly pulling up at a petrol station in Manchester last weekend and treating everyone on the forecourt to a full tank of car juice, it seems that Mario Balotelli has been sharing the wealth once again – moseying into the The John Rylands University Library (JRUL) at the University of Manchester yesterday afternoon and offering to pay off any overdue book fines for the students therein.

Such a charitable old soul. I mean, what’s not to love? It’s exactly the kind of thing I’d be doing if I was earning £200,000-a-week and working for three hours a day.

Anyway, JRUL themselves have Tweeted that the rumours of Balotelli paying off the student’s fees are untrue, though there is a suspicion that they may just be referring to the fact that their staff are said to have refused Mario’s generous offer and that all library debts remain in place. They haven’t actually refuted the fact that he stopped by on his travels.

To slightly mis-quote Marvin Gaye, it’s probably wise to “believe half of what you see, and none of what you hear” when it comes to Balotelli, though it has to be said – the more reports you read of his benevolence and childlike curiosty, the more difficult it becomes to dislike the chap.

As opposed to most cut-and-paste, media-trained-to-the-eyeballs footballers, Balotelli is in possession of a shred of and idiosyncratic humour and intrigue and, as such, the footballing press have latched on to him like limpets. He’s the gift that keeps on giving. Literally, it appears!

He’s not ‘mad’ and nothing he does comes close to qualifying as ‘madness’, but you can see how he seems completely frog-conkers loopy compared to the rest of his insipid cohorts.

Long may he reign.

Posted in Man City

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  1. swiss mafia says:

    Haha Amazing… I must admit I really didn’t like Balotelli at first.. But he definitely grows on you! Can’t wait for the next nutty thing that he is probably coming up with as we speak.

  2. Philip J. Fry says:

    Man City have hired top PR gurus and their spin is working on you. This is because you went back in time and had sex with your grandmother thus becoming your own grandfather. You lack the crucial delta brainwave to see through the bullshit. Either that or you’re an idiot.

  3. gamblino says:


  4. MaxMad says:

    What’s not to love about his character? The odd-chaotic lapses of judgment, the ridiculous stunts, the loo break?

    I’d like to pull out a nickname for him; Baron Balotelli. Just because he’s such a nut, and full of wealth and indecent (though at times decent) behavior.

  5. Sultan says:

    I wish he came to the states and paid off my loans ! LOL !!!

  6. Mr. Sparkle says:

    Philip J. Fry, you’re my hero.

    I wish I went to Manchester Univ…wait, no I don’t. In fact I wouldn’t want to live anywhere near that city. Although getting your fines paid by a football professional must be a good feeling.

  7. KingEric7 says:

    I still don’t believe the feasibility of the Petrol Station story. So he would have had to go round and tell everyone “fill up your tank and I will pay”, some of whom wouldn’t know who he was (i.e. housewives/women, the elderly etc), would you trust him? Then he would have gone in to pay and come back out and told them to drive off, whilst other cars are coming and going, under the supervision of the staff. It all seems very confusing and far-fetched.

  8. Jjjor says:

    Or, maybe he just have everyone money for the fuel?

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