Mario Balotelli Signs On As Man City’s Official Fireworks Safety Ambassador

Chris Wright

25th, October 2011

5 Comments

By Chris Wright

It’s so ironic, it simply must be fattening!

As we creep toward Bonfire Night and stupid children start dreaming about doing stupid things with over-the-counter explosives, Man City have started a club campaign called TREACLE to promote firework safety this November and who better to front that campaign than a man who nearly lost everything (on his towel rack) at the weekend in a fireworks-related house fire?

That’s right. City have signed up Mario Balotelli as their official Fireworks Safety Ambassador, and the man had this to say on his appointment:

“It is important children should not mess with fireworks. They can be very dangerous if they are not used in the right way. People should follow the firework code.

“The newspapers got the story wrong about me, I didn’t set any fireworks off, it was a friend of mine. I didn’t know anything about it until I heard shouting coming from the bathroom. My friend apologised to me for the damage to my house. It was a really stupid thing to do.

“Even when I have had bad moments [the City fans] have supported me, but I don’t care what people say about me. I am focused on my football, my manager, girlfriends and my family.”

‘Girlfriends’. Plural. Nice.

Anyway, in all seriousness, getting Balotelli to front such a well-meaning campaign is an excellent move. He’s the living embodiment of a footballing cartoon character. Kids love him and hopefully they’ll do as he says and not, for the sake of us all, as he does.

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5 Comments

  1. Patrick says:

    Is this for real?!

  2. jojo says:

    balotelli is slowly achieving the same level of randomness as arshavin, the king of randomness. they thought it was impossible…

  3. Montesquieu says:

    A few people will likely loose fingers when Balotelli is the safety ambassador.

  4. zip says:

    photoshopped

  5. wolfinho says:

    “the moral of the story is: kids, don’t set off fireworks or you’ll spend the next day scoring twice against one of the world’s top football clubs and, later that night, having sex multiple times with your girlfriends.”

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